Question

Here's a poem I wrote. What do you think?

Answer 1

Beyond the mountains,
Beyond the sea,
There’s a land
Where everything’s free.

All the creatures
Are willing to give
Anything—if it means
Another could live.

Some creatures in that land
Are simply ordinary,
While others
Are quite legendary.

Fairies and butterflies
Flutter through the air,
While birds and dragons
Fly as high as they dare.

Giant sea serpents and graceful swans
Skim the surface of the waters,
While tiny fish play with
The mermaids and their daughters.

Cute little bunnies hop about
And chase each other ‘round and ‘round,
While reindeer prance and dance
Upon the ground so quiet they don’t make any sound.

Whether they soar sky-high,
Prance through the tall, green grass,
Or went gliding to and fro in the shimmering waters,

Answer 2

I couldn't figure out a last sentence for it.

Answer 3

its very creative. Love the way it flows #writerforlife :D

Answer 4

Thanks, @britney1111!

Answer 5

Could use some editing, but I could see this in a children's book. Nice

Answer 6

This is really good

Answer 7

I't cute.

Answer 8

Thanks, @<3MEGGANN<3, @CallMeKat, and @sugarplum15! If anyone can think of a nice last phrase, please tell me. If you want, you can even change a tiny bit of the whole last part to make the last phrase rhyme with the second phrase of the last part, if you know what I mean.

Answer 9

This part:

Whether they soar sky-high,
Prance through the tall, green grass,
Or went gliding to and fro in the shimmering waters,

Answer 10

Until the brightness of day has passed
Maybe? I don't know, just a suggestion:)

Answer 11

@pinkcandyrosez882, I don't know... I was thinking something about peace or harmony or something like that.

Answer 12

What do you think?

Answer 13

oh sorry

Answer 14

It has a nice follow through. I like it.

Answer 15

Thank you, @aishaabdinur!

Answer 16

By the way, @pinkcandyrosez882, I like your thinking.

Answer 17

Thanks :3

Answer 18

No problem!

Answer 19

Here's my edited version, but I'm still working on it.

Answer 20

Beyond the mountains,
Beyond the sea,
There’s a land
Where everything’s free.

All the creatures
Are willing to give
Anything—if it means
Another could live.

Some creatures in that land
Are simply ordinary,
While others
Are quite legendary.

Fairies and butterflies
Flutter through the air,
While birds and dragons
Fly as high as they dare.

Serpents and swans
Skim the surface of the waters,
While tiny fish play with
The mermaids and their daughters.

Cute little bunnies hop about
And chase each other ‘round and ‘round,
While reindeer prance and dance
So graceful, so sound.

Whether they prance through the tall, green grass,
Soar through the sky that has no end,
Or glide to and fro in the shimmering water,
No creature lives without a friend.