Question

I just got done writing this for my short story paper for English 4. Thoughts?

Answer 1

My head jumped up and slammed against the top of my bunk-bed. I had just been awoken from a nightmare to which I cannot remember what happened. I looked at my clock to see what time it was. It was 11am. My house was very silent. This was unusual for my house since I usually wake up to the sound of children since my mom runs a daycare from our home. All the rooms were empty, no one was around. I quickly ran to the garage to see if my mom went out. Her car was still there. I ran outside to see if there was anyone outside. No one was out, which is also unusual since my neighbor always mows his lawn on Thursdays.

It was now the middle of the afternoon when all the sudden a dark mist started forming outside. I ran outside to see what was happening, but by the time I ran out there the mist has now blocked out the sun. It was slowly getting black. The mist was slowly spreading towards me. I ran inside to get away from it, but it followed. It swept through my house quickly, and before I knew it I was cornered in my hallway. I screamed for help, but there was no answer.

I was completely taken in by the mist. For what seemed like hours, turned into days of me sitting there blinded by this darkness. I tried reaching around to feel for the walls which would lead me out of here. Through the darkness, I saw a light at the end of the hallway which revealed a door. I quickly ran towards and opened it as fast as I could. I was greeted by a landscape of complete darkness. The one light from the inside slowly flickering away. I now saw my fate, endlessly roaming through this god-forsaken darkness for eternity.
I was walking through the darkness for what it seemed to be weeks. My eyes began to see weird images of strange creatures in the distance, but as I got closer it was just the same darkness I have seen for a long time. I came to a point where I almost gave up hope until I saw a light in the distance revealing a pathway. I quickly ran to it hoping I would find someone... anyone. This pathway led to a house. It was very bright inside the house it seemed from looking on the outside. I ran up to the door

I slowly opened the door to the house. I stepped inside and closed the door. The inside of the house was painted all white with no furniture. I scratched my head not understanding why there would be a house like this, but at least it was not black. I closed the door behind me and slowly walk towards the center of the room. As I was in the center of the room, the darkness slowly slipped back into the white room. Before I knew it, the white walls and floor were now dark and I could not see anything. The floor gave way I started to fall. My head jumped up and slammed against the top of my bunk-bed...

Answer 2

I like it

Answer 3

Really Good