Can someone help me with this?
I submitted my work, and my teacher said my claim and counter claim needed to be shorter, and put into one sentence.

The assignment was to write a claim and counter claim for the prompt: Does our state do enough to prevent distracted driving?

Question

Can someone help me with this?
I submitted my work, and my teacher said my claim and counter claim needed to be shorter, and put into one sentence. 

The assignment was to write a claim and counter claim for the prompt: Does our state do enough to prevent distracted driving?

anonymous · Answer

My work was

Claim: 
It’s time to face the harsh facts: 11 teens die everyday, as a result from texting and driving. Those numbers add to just another youth, that will never make to their graduation; that won’t be able to feel the anxiousness and eagerness, as they open the acceptance letter, to the dream university, they worked so hard to get into. In 2013, Florida passed a secondary law on texting and driving. Meaning, an officer can only pull you over and issue a ticket if the officer has witnessed some other violation. Like if you ran a stop light while texting. A police officer cannot simply pull you over for texting while driving, and because of that, it could be easily said, plenty of youth do not take the laws set about texting and driving too seriously. Florida does not do enough to prevent distracted driving. This state needs to step up and enforce a more strict rule on this matter. 

Counter claim:
The secondary law Florida passed on driving and texting could be considered  a “weak law.” This law states that an officer can only pull you over and issue a ticket if the officer has witnessed some other violation. But, Florida also has passed other laws that help prevent these types of situations, where young people’s lives are put in danger. An example would be the Florida's Primary Seat belt Law. This law requires that all drivers and passengers riding in the front seat wear a safety belt. Another law that prevents the life of a youth being is danger in a vehicle, is the law that states: “a minor may not be or remain in a public place or establishment between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m. of the following day, Sunday through Thursday”. 
Regardless of the fact, 'The Texting and Driving law' is considered “weak” to some, there have been other laws set place, in an effort to help keep the youth safe on the road. Therefore Florida does do enough to prevent distracted driving,