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OpenStudy (shirley27):

Please help look over the first body paragraph of this essay. Thanks!

OpenStudy (shirley27):

OpenStudy (anonymous):

I like the body paragraph a lot. The last sentence feels a tad bit out of place mostly due just to the way it's worded. Try and possibly re-word that if you can at all. It sounds to choppy.

OpenStudy (shirley27):

Thank you so much!!! @jonnyshaw10

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