Question

can someone check and see if this is a good intro

Answer 1

@dazednightdreams

Answer 2

This is really good. Nice job!

Answer 3

lol thank you! should i add anything ?

Answer 4

From my perspective, its fine the way it is. Just ask more people for their opinion on it.

Answer 5

alright thank someone is typing i'll wait.

Answer 6

Hmm... The thing is that the introduction is too long. In English, we were taught to keep it two to three sentences long. With that being said, though, you do have to make sure that you get your points in, which will be analyzed and described in your body paragraphs.

Also, I'm going to take a guess that this is a formal writing piece, which means that starting off with "Hey!" probably isn't a good idea. It's too loose, as if you know the reader and are close friends with them. The goal with this kind of writing is to deliver information while keeping it as informative as possible. It's okay to throw in a question once in a while, as long as you answer it either directly or through an anecdote of some sort. Hope this helps!

Answer 7

@SwampKing28

Answer 8

it helps but, i'm trying to caught the readers attention.

Answer 9

@KyanTheDoodle

Answer 10

is their any grammar or miss spelled words on here?

Answer 11

@toriacx

Answer 12

I think it's really good ! it caught my attention. From the first sentence i wanted to know what you were talking about, great job ! (:

Answer 13

I also think the length is fine , i wouldn't go any longer then that though. and ill look for any grammar mistakes now

Answer 14

ohh really?? and ok thank you.

Answer 15

@Echosmith

Answer 16

@nerlineg SO you are on FLVS English III Module 7?

Answer 17

yeah and your welcome .
noticed* , i would also put the questions that were on the test.
other then that i don't see anything else wrong

Answer 18

If it's English III, definitely take into account what I said to make the MLA gods happy

Answer 19

okay thank you @toriacx and yes @Echosmith

Answer 20

I am doing the same rite now wats your teacher?

Answer 21

Your welcome (:

Answer 22

um i tern it in already, and got a 98% i just needed to fix some err which i've a;ready done

Answer 23

um mrs. L

Answer 24

Oh I got Mrs. C she is rude and never answers her phone

Answer 25

Like most FLVS Teachers

Answer 26

lmao o.o my teacher nice i love her

Answer 27

if you need help with anything you let me know ok

Answer 28

Thank you @nerlineg will do

Answer 29

I'm assuming that a comment was deleted, because I don't know what the intro even is...

Answer 30

probably

Answer 31

@EclipsedStar and @KlTTYi took it down b.c i didn't wont no one copying and pasting my work . sorry about that.... :/ i also forgot to close this question. but thanks for trying to help.. if i need and help i'll tag you guys.

Answer 32

@KlTTY

Answer 33

Ok, sure. :)