Question

I wrote a narrative for my class :) Comment what you think about it? It's my first ever narrative that I actually liked.

Answer 1

As the red car parked into the parking lot, a boy and his best friend opened the automatic door on the side of the van. The boy’s name is Dan, eleven years old, blonde hair and very bright blue eyes. And his best friend, Christopher, he had brown spiked up hair, and basic brown eyes. Their parents, Amanda and Julius took them to the biggest event of the year, the carnival. Of course, the boys were very enthusiastic for the rides, but they were looking forward to the tent of mystery, the circus show.

They had been looking forward to the circus since they were seven years old! But it was never open since 1999, everyone wondered why it was closed for a while until now. It was because a little boy wondered the around the tent and then the little boy that has sat in the first row, seat number 4, the boy has disappeared, then a few years later, the little boy’s body was found dead in a lake that was 17 miles away from the carnival spot. Everyone made theories about what happened to the boy. Some have even said that there is a curse in the circus tent. But that is impossible, maybe it is or maybe not, but the theories were silly.

Dan ran like a cheetah to the carnival, he was so happy like a kid in Christmas running for their christmas presents. As Christopher and Dan’s parents were trying to catch up. Dan has been waiting for this moment for all his life. He always questioned why there was no carnival. Of course, his parents won’t let him know about the incident that happened in 1999. They didn’t want to tell him and ruin his day to the carnival. We don’t want that to happen, that boy was looking forward to this all his life. No one can ever ruin this.

As Dan and Christopher ran together in the tent followed by Dan’s parents, it was packed. Dan’s sat in the first row, seat number 4. Christopher sat next to him, seat 5. Dan’s parents sat in row 2 because they didn’t want to sit in the first row since the incident.

Dan wanted to wonder around the circus, it was his first time. He always wanted to discover new things, even when he was little. He had a slight smile on his face, an amused one. He saw an elephant coming towards the big crowd, a bunch of screams filled the air with joy. Chris jumped up out of his seat and ran to the back of the circus tent, there was a door that said Enter if you dare. Chris opened the door slightly, seeing an old clown with a evil grin on his face, maybe that was the boy who was missing?

Answer 2

It is really good.

Answer 3

Thanks :) @Keigh2015

Answer 4

You're welcome

Answer 5

lol im a little late but ya it's good!!

Answer 6

It's fine and thank you :3 @Skielerlucas04

Answer 7

SLAYEEEDDD

Answer 8

Lol thanks :3 @Naheemahh

Answer 9

There are a bit of mixes of past and present tenses in there, but overall, I think you did a wonderful job. :)

Answer 10

Sorry about that, I was kinda rushing on that time to finish everything :) but thanks anyways!! @eclipsedstar

Answer 11

No problem, anytime. :)