Question

poem please let me know what you think

Answer 1

I find my life eh…
I find me as mh…
I wish I was…
Today was tomorrow!
Tomorrow is yesterday!
I hope…
I need…
I’m screwed?
I find the light in tomorrow.
But I find the strength in today.
My life is a shadow
Of the world.
My might is the beauty of me.
But sometimes I lose it.
Sometimes it just turns black.
And I lose sight of myself…

Eventually Velma finds her glasses.
So eventually I’ll find the light.
Eventually I will find me.
Eventually will be today.
Because “I’m trying” is never tomorrow.
It’s now or it’s in the distance.
Strength is a shimmer
And a shimmer helps you find the light.
Break the patterns not yourself.

Answer 2

@sugarplum15 @YanaSidlinskiy

Answer 3

i like where youre going with this but i think you need more transitions like at the end for an example you were talking about distance and then you went straight into shimmer. what if you said something along the lines of in the distance you lose the shimmer and then say whatever you said about shimmer. it makes it less choppy and easier to follow

Answer 4

hope that helps! also though keep in mind that its your own style and if you like choppy thats completely fine... just a thought i had

Answer 5

its really nice but plss try to add some rhyming scheme to your poem then it will become gorgeous:))) thats my completely personal opinion...pls don't mind anything