Question

poem critic and let me know opinions

Answer 1

I find my life eh…
I find me as mh…
I wish I was…
Today was tomorrow!
Tomorrow is yesterday!
I hope…
I need…
I’m screwed?
I find the light in tomorrow.
But I find the strength in today.
My life is a shadow
Of the world.
My might is the beauty of me.
But sometimes I lose it.
Sometimes it just turns black.
And I lose sight of myself…

Eventually Velma finds her glasses.
So eventually I’ll find the light.
Eventually I will find me.
Eventually will be today.
Because “I’m trying” is never tomorrow.
It’s now or it’s in the distance.
Strength is a shimmer
And a shimmer helps you find the light.
Break the patterns not yourself.

Answer 2

I think about things in a weird way, so I kinda like it. It has good structure and a v line in there, so good there, but I think the main dislike of mine was the Scooby-do refrence. It wasn't right for the lime, but otherwise it is ok, I think. Thanks for being artistic and unconventional! <3Danni

Answer 3

reference*

Answer 4

Am I leaving anything out?

Answer 5

@AnimalLover8 thank you so much i find this really helpful and i tend to write differently then most would and thats what i go for. The reference i knew would be a risk but its the one way to describe how i was feeling. But i do appreciate you telling me how you felt it helps me with future writings as well as current

Answer 6

i think im going to change that line to a question mark rather than a period

Answer 7

No problem hon. <3

Answer 8

If I was going to add a question mark on that line I'd make it "Eventually Velma finds her glasses, right?", to involve the reader in a moment. Just my opinion again. Hope this helps. <3

Answer 9

@AnimalLover8 thanks