Question

Can someone look over what I have so far? Thank you!

Answer 1

First body- Explain what it is that arouses your passion about this subject
Second- how you became interested in it.
third- How would you get someone else interested in this same subject

Answer 2

Hm well the first killing wasn't technically at seaworld it was i think MarineLand which was a separate park and not associated with seaworld

Answer 3

Whats the main thing your trying to focus on? Tilikum or Seaworld itself?

Answer 4

Opps.. The killer whales. Im basing most of this off the blackfish movie.

Answer 5

Is this okay to follow?

First body- Explain what it is that arouses your passion about this subject
Second- how you became interested in it.
third- How would you get someone else interested in this same subject

Answer 6

I think im just going to skip the intro and do the body paragraphs first..

Answer 7

Yeah thats a good idea. I would focus on the treatment of the all the animals like how they're separated from their calves. Forced to breed an an unnaturally young age

Answer 8

Killer whales being mistreated and abused would be the reason for my passion on not supporting SeaWorld. These orcas are kidnapped from their loving families and friends in the wild and placed in tanks that are so small that they would need to swim 1,208 laps (around the perimeter of the tank) or 3,105 lengths (back and forth at the longest part of the tank) in the park’s largest tank to equal what they’d swim in the wild in only one day (SeaworldofHurt, 8 Reasons Orcas Don’t Belong at SeaWorld). To me as a Certified Veterinary Assistant and animal lover, seeing a beautiful and wild creature such as killer whales being confined and mistreated

Whats another way to say "really pisses you off"

Answer 9

Hmm well i mean that was amazing! it defiantly got the point across and you had really solid points.

Answer 10

Oh thank you

Answer 11

I agree with the tank size! this picture pretty much sums it up

Answer 12

Yeah... Not sure how to continue with out putting pisses me off

Answer 13

Hmm maybe say strongly disagree with how they mistreat the animals when so many other options of care have been provided such as open sea pens

Answer 14

I cant say that. I dont agree with it.

Answer 15

hmm okay well whats your point of view? maybe you can explain why it upsets you to kinda of sum it up and state where you stand on the matter

Answer 16

It upsets me because these killer whales are being taken from their homes and families and put in a small tank to swim around and do tricks. Not just jump around and splash around some water but have some +100 pound person stand on their face as they push them around in circles all for us humans to be entertained. They are fed frozen fish that isnt even enough for us humans to eat. And forced to be bred when ever us humans feel like making them. They are forced to do things that they do want to.... Im getting mad just typing all this.

Answer 17

And when they get kidnapped they get to be witness to their mothers being killed in front of them.

Answer 18

@grimsnightmare

Answer 19

Perfect! your emotion where completely in the words

Answer 20

Killer whales being mistreated and abused would be the reason for my passion on not supporting SeaWorld. These orcas are kidnapped from their loving families and friends in the wild and placed in tanks that are so small that they would need to swim 1,208 laps (around the perimeter of the tank) or 3,105 lengths (back and forth at the longest part of the tank) in the park’s largest tank to equal what they’d swim in the wild in only one day (SeaworldofHurt, 8 Reasons Orcas Don’t Belong at SeaWorld). To me as a Certified Veterinary Assistant and animal lover, seeing a beautiful and wild creature such as killer whales being confined and mistreated simply put makes me

Answer 21

I need a word thats better then mad and pisses me off

Answer 22

Okay I love what you are discussing! I have the same problems! I watched the documentary and refuse to ever go to SeaWorld, which had been one of my fathers favorite places...sad I had to break his heart. Your facts are good. Could you send me your outline?

Answer 23

I would if I had one...

Answer 24

This is due today and its just suppose to be a quick essay to show my professor my writing skills basically. Its not a graded assignment.

Answer 25

Okay that alleviates some stress then. So since you want your final body (from my understanding) to be on how you per sway some one you should look at the cries of the mothers ripped away from the young. Also how they communicate and live differently from each other based on home regions, just like humans. I think that would really help sway someone to your view.

Answer 26

Hmm okay I like that!

Answer 27

Well remember how emotional the man got when he realized the job he was doing. That was a very frustrating movie to watch.

Answer 28

Yes!!!!

Answer 29

Brb have to take care of a few things.

Answer 30

You should really make a point of saying that Tilikum did not just viciously attack and kill these people out of human hatred, but rather because he was trying to be a really killer whale. Playing the way he would, and that Sea World has tried to blame these deaths on trainer fault when its just that these whales dont have the space needed for real play and are punished for not hearing a command or another whale doing something wrong. So yes the whale killed but it was the poor conditions these large animals are forced to endure for life. Due to the SeaWorld CEO's failure.

Okay I will be back on as soon as possible.

Answer 31

Ill try to add that in.. And okay. Sorry I took so long.

Answer 32

Need help with introduction and conclusion