Question

Coudld someone makw suggestions to this short story please?

Answer 1

@Teddyiswatshecallsme

Answer 2

What exactly do you need help with?

Answer 3

hi @vera_ewing like suggestions on it i finsihed it but i need to make sure tht its good and amkes sense

Answer 4

Where is this short story?

Answer 5

ill get it

Answer 6

@vera_ewing

Answer 7

@vera_ewing !!! OMG

Answer 8

I can't download it.

Answer 9

ok

Answer 10

@vera_ewing

Answer 11

I open the key in the lock and opened the door. To my surprise, I envisioned a clean house. This is not how I left everything before! Where are my lucky diamond earrings? Where did all my clothes go? I switched on the light bulb. A shadow raced behind me. Running to the kitchen to grab a knife, I shouted, "Is anyone here:" No reply.

I see two tall, sinister shadows in the living room. I couldn't catch a glimpse of what was going on, but it looked like they were whispering. Then. My house phone started ringing. It rang several times and then the ringing stopped. I heard a deep voice say, "Hello". The voice sounded like a man mid-30s. Then I heard another, "Hello". This voice sounded like a woman also mid-30s. I was scared to death, because two people were in my house whom I did not know! My worst nightmare was coming true.

Looking back at the living room, one of the shadow’s pointed too the kitchen and started walking towards where I was. Without a moments glance, I raced upstairs. I ran to my room and locked the door. Thinking to myself, “Okay, stay calm. Do not freak out”. Suddenly, a BANG came from the door. I dragged the armoire from my room to hold the door shut. Then another THUD came from the door.


The armoire fell over and ran into my back. I fell down. Crying with agony I couldn't come up. The armoire was too heavy. "Okay," I whispered myself "Push the table on 1. 2. 3." I leveraged my bodyweight to push the armoire against the door. An intense, sharp pain was now issuing from my arm. I knew that I had cracked my arm. The shadows started to hit the door with a hammer.

Startled, I ran away from the door. Sitting on the floor I tucked my knees to my chest and closed my eyes. When I opened them the two shadows were standing in front of me. A gun was pointing right towards my head. With a tear rolling down my eyes, my last word was, "Goodbye". I open the key in the lock and opened the door. To my surprise, I see my body lying across the floor.

Answer 12

thats the only other way i could do it @vera_ewing @vera_ewing @vera_ewing

Answer 13

lol

Answer 14

:( @TaylorBrooks137 serously

Answer 15

@vera_ewing

Answer 16

@vera_ewing

Answer 17

It's nice. Although perhaps you should cut back on the "to my surprise"'s.

Answer 18

oh thats the prompt and thank you!

Answer 19

I would look up suggestions for short story on google

Answer 20

ok thank you all :D @TaylorBrooks137 @KyantheNoddle and I guess @vera_ewing