Question

Here's a poem I wrote. It's called Shooting Star. Also, I'm going to make it a song. Please tell me what you think of it and be honest. :)

Answer 1

Shooting Star

You make me believe
That you’re a perfect shooting star,
Perfect just the way you are,
Because to me,
You’re perfect in every way;
You never fail to make my day.
Now listen to me,
I truly wish you the best,
Because life is more than just a test…
Life is friendship,
Life is good.
Life is caring,
Understood?
Life is a lesson
To be learnt.
Life is time
To be spent.
Use time wisely,
Life is short…
Because you’re a perfect shooting star,
Perfect just the way you are,
Because to me,
You perfect in every way.
You never fail to make my day.

Answer 2

I really like it and I think that It is going to the song side then the poem side and I think you should make it into a song that would really be a great song hope my opinion help you.

Answer 3

Thanks!!! Your opinion helped a lot, by the way. :D

Answer 4

I enjoyed your poem. I think you should separate them into stanzas. Where you wrote "Life is short" it would be interesting for you to stylize the poem that it was a separate section. Basically style is to arrange words to achieve particular effects with a distinctive an unique manner. Arrangement of these word choices as well as length of sentences and structure, tone, use of irony helps express your ideas or emotion more fluently.

Answer 5

Do some iambic pentameter. Get on dat der shapespeare level

Answer 6

@MarvelousANT, would you mind kind of implying what you said to my poem?
@dehelloo, I'm sorry, I don't understand...Use my poem to explain please?

Answer 7

Also, thanks, @MarvelousANT!

Answer 8

It is truly awesome! You are gifted!!

Answer 9

:)

Answer 10

Ah, thanks, @flowers2468!!!!

Answer 11

You are very welcome!:)

Answer 12

its amazing, i love it!. you are a talented poet!

Answer 13

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!! I really appretiate it!!!!!

Answer 14

(I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong. lol)

Answer 15

[you did but its no problem =)]

Answer 16

ok

Answer 17

Have you seen the other poem i posted on here?

Answer 18

no, can we see it?

Answer 19

Sure! One second

Answer 20

BEYOND THE MOUNTAINS

Beyond the mountains,
Beyond the sea,
There’s a land
Where everything’s free.

All the creatures
Are willing to give
Anything if it means
Another could live.

Some creatures in that land
Are simply ordinary,
While others
Are quite legendary.

Fairies and butterflies
Flutter through the air,
While birds and dragons
Fly as high as they dare.

Serpents and swans
Skim the surface of the waters,
While tiny fish play with
The mermaids and their daughters.

Cute little bunnies hop about
And chase each other ‘round and ‘round,
While reindeer prance and dance
So graceful, so sound.

Whether they prance through the tall, green grass,
Soar through the sky that has no end,
Or glide to and fro in the shimmering water,
No creature lives without a friend.

Answer 21

@MissNoName

Answer 22

It's a work in progress

Answer 23

well its really good anyways, i wish you luck for many other poem you make in the future[not that you need it =)]

Answer 24

Thanks

Answer 25

no problem!

Answer 26

\(\Huge\ddot\smile\)

Answer 27

It is so beautiful! You should have them published.

Answer 28

I think i'm going to! :D

Answer 29

Do you guys know how to do LaTex?

Answer 30

Just curious

Answer 31

no i dont, but i can look it up

Answer 32

lol

Answer 33

They have a subject called "LaTeX Practing :)" if youwant ed to check it out, @MissNoName

Answer 34

you wanted*

Answer 35

sounds cool!

Answer 36

It is! hehe

Answer 37

but my mom might not really like the idea, and we dont have enough money for LaTex

Answer 38

love it and good job

Answer 39

Thanks, @M_M13!
@MissNoName, I meant LaTeX on OpenStudy. lol

Answer 40

I can teach you if you want... :D

Answer 41

sure!

Answer 42

Awesome! You are talented.

Answer 43

Thanks, @NR152727

Answer 44

@MissNoName, I'll make a new "question" and tag you

Answer 45

I tagged you in a new question, @MissNoName

Answer 46

okay cool!

Answer 47

Nice poems. I think that you are very creative when it comes to words.

Answer 48

Thanks, @XxMuslimxX

Answer 49

This is a very nice poem, but I think you could consider it to be more of a song.
Though both poems and songs have a rhythm, you could consider poetry to have a more "literature-y" feel to it, especially when you read and have these sung or read out in your head.
For example, the line(s):
"Life is friendship,
Life is good.
Life is caring,
Understood?"
Doesn't this sound like a song more? It's one of my favorite lines, and I think it stands out. Your poem sounds like this is a mix of poem lines and song lyrics, and that's a very creative approach.
While I read this work, I had this sung out in my head instead of read out. Though this can vary from person to person, I am simply giving out my own opinion, and I, as well, write poetry, so this is kind of a "poet-to-poet" situation, ha ha.
Also, about your rhythm - it's perfect. No sharp, choppy cuts at all. It takes hard work to do that in a rhyming poem. Good job on that.
Anyways, I enjoyed this very much. Keep on writing, and I'm looking forward to any poems you want to share in the future.

Answer 50

It is amazing I really liked your wording and your rhyme its seems more like a song than a poem but it still amazing.

Answer 51

Wow, thank you so much guys!!!!!

Answer 52

@haleyelizabeth2017

Answer 53

Holy cow man...those are amazing. I think they'd be great songs!

Answer 54

Thank you SO much!!!!!!

Answer 55

You are very welcome!

Answer 56

I'm really into writing...on my own terms. lol

Answer 57

i love it you did a amazing good

Answer 58

Thanks, @heyiamstudy!