Question

You want to escape from a dream, you wish you never had. You had a dream you were king and the queen had left your side. How could this be, you gave her everything and more. You gave her your soul, gave her your heart, but she ripped it all apart. Like an old love letter she wanted better, she wanted more then you, like and old love letter she wanted better she wanted more than you. She was the one you lived with, the one you laughed with, the one you loved, and now she's gone. Now she's gone. She hits the gas, hoping it would pass, the red light starts to flash it's time to wait.

Answer 1

You hit the floor hoping there was more then all these shattered pieces, and sores. She was the one you lived with, the one you laughed with, the one you loved, and now she's gone, now she's gone. She was the one you lived with, the one you laughed with, the one you loved, and now she's gone, now she's gone.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I just wrote this....medal if you like it. If you don't well....I will try harder to write better...I guess. Leave comments on how to make it better. It's actually a song, I have music and everything. I just need to upload it to sound cloud.

Answer 4

That's good.

Answer 5

I need to figure out a bridge. I have only part of it. I have the music I want for it, but still need lyrics.

Answer 6

Prettty good

Answer 7

It is really good. There are a lot of good writers here and you are one of them.

Answer 8

Thank you. I usually don't get that.

Answer 9

You are welcome!:)

Answer 10

Not bad. What so you usually write about?

Answer 11

I write what I feel. This one was just a scenario that I thought of. My poems are usually dark, I post a lot of them on the internet.

Answer 12

that was good, write more...

Answer 13

Oh i just wrote a poem but i dont really show them. I might if you were interested

Answer 14

I'm going to post some of my darker stuff. I don't write these for attention or post them for attention. I just feel as if I need someone to know that I am hurting.

Answer 15

I like this as a poem but I'm not really into dark stuff I don't like the way it makes me feel.But I think you definitely are a good writer.Keep it up!

Answer 16

Wow it's amazing u should make more

Answer 17

Really good :D, instead of just ending there i would add more and make it into a story :P

Answer 18

Also i would try using more/better words, to help paint a clearer picture. for example:
You lifelessly fell to the floor. Desperately hop...etc

Answer 19

But still great poem :D

Answer 20

It's actually a song I am working on. But thanks for the comment!