Question

Hey all, I'm just looking for some feedback on my Introduction/thesis statement for a Essay I'm writing. The essay is a comparison/argumentative essay on the differences in the interpretation of reticence and whether it's socially acceptable in the US vs. Korea. Would appreciate the help! (Introduction in comments)

Answer 1

Reticence can be defined in two different ways; the inclination to keep silent or uncommunicative, and as the act of being culturally aware. Depending on the culture one grows up in, is introduced to, the act of being reticent can be both socially acceptable and unacceptable. The U.S and Korea interpret reticence very differently, the US sees it as an issue with the individual, whereas in Korea it’s seen as polite.

Answer 2

@Babynini

Answer 3

Just a few awkward parts! Here is a quick revision:
"Reticence can be defined in two different ways: the inclination to keep silent and uncommunicative, and the act of being culturally aware. Depending on the culture one grows up in and, or, is introduced to, the act of being reticent can be both socially acceptable and unacceptable. The United States and Korea interpret reticence very differently. For example, the United States sees it as an issue with the individual, whereas in Korea it is seen as being polite."

Answer 4

Oops, add a comma after "whereas in Korea (comma) it is seen as being polite"
= "whereas in Korea, it is seen as being polite"

Answer 5

Now since I'm pretty much basing all my evidence around the politeness/individual issue statement, could "The United States and Korea interpret reticence very differently. For example, the United States sees it as an issue with the individual, whereas in Korea, it is seen as being polite." be my thesis? -- Im Garbage At Essays.. Give me a Math Prob and i got this no Problem :) --

Answer 6

Is there a word limit to your essay?

Answer 7

750 words - 1250 words

Answer 8

Is that going to be your full introduction? How many paragraphs?

Answer 9

Let me take a look at everything, basically tonight i just wanted to get an introduction down, since it's due friday.. and i got math midterm tomorrow XD

Answer 10

Ooo, good luck. haha!

Answer 11

Oh gosh, good luck o.o
If you need help with the essay tomorrow after your midterm I shall be happy to help! :) So you can focus on your maths xD

Answer 12

Yes, that could be your thesis. Typically you want a thesis to be only 1-2 sentences (preferably 1). For now, I would stick with that one and revise as you finish the rest of your essay.

Answer 13

Would greatly appreciate that @Babynini
And thanks both XD

@jojokiw3 though, off the top of my head i can already see 3-4 paragraphs, mainly because i can elaborate on how the US sees reticence as a Pathology, and Korea sees it as Polite.. Not to mention there's been multiple studies on how Socially attractive each country sees "reticent" people as. (Sorry for bad grammar, im extremely tired and too lazy to fix it)

Answer 14

Yeah, so an easy way to write thesis, and workable, is like, "The xxxx is different from yyyy due to blah in terms of nnnn, mmmm, and oooo. " That way you have a short mention of all of your body paragraphs and the entire essay all in one sentence.

Answer 15

Once i get all my evidence down and whatnot, i should be able to reshape my thesis properly.. I'm just one of those people who cant write too well ^_^

Answer 16

:) That's okay. Everyone has their talents and whatnot, I'm terrible with math, sort of.

Answer 17

Yep! A really helpful thing for future essays is to outline before you write, that way you know exactly what evidence you have and where you'll put it in your essay.

Answer 18

I got a outline written up, it's just in my notebook downstairs across the hall and in the living room... and i just cant get up to get currently XD Too.. Tired

Answer 19

^ truth.

Answer 20

haha yeah. But just ask either Nini or me if we're online and you need help with the essay.

Answer 21

Preferably her, because I'll probably be asleep. xD

Answer 22

Appreciate it guys ^^!

Answer 23

A basic outline can be:

Intro:
a)Outline
b) Thesis

Paragraph 1:
a) topic sentence
b) content
c) tie back to thesis

Paragraph 2:
a) topic sentence
b) content
c) tie back to thesis

Conclusion:
a)summary
b) tie back to thesis

And it will be so beautiful that your professor/teacher will cry :D

Answer 24

Of course, dear! Good luck with math :)

Answer 25

No problem. :P Sleep well so you don't screw up the math.

Answer 26

welp thx, ^_^ Pulled an all nighter yesterday cuz i had my Eastern Asian Studies Midterm, so ima head to bed, sleep till 2 and hopefully do well on le test, nyte, thanks again