Question

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0yOpvoj-HaqZmZzMXBYb0sxUlk/view?usp=sharing

Answer 1

@Babynini

Answer 2

@Gir_16

Answer 3

You have very good grammar skills..

Answer 4

Sarcastic? :O

Answer 5

If i come across any errors i will let u knw and no I am serious

Answer 6

Ok :D Thanks, if there's anything u would change, you can comment on the doc

Answer 7

ok

Answer 8

@Hulk_Smash

Answer 9

I am here! Let us see.

Answer 10

Ah, so I think the text and grammar (on the first quick-through read) are quite fine. The essay itself flows very well, but one suggestion I do have is to try and make each paragraph around 6-8 sentences. Where now you have them varying very greatly in length. Like, one paragraph is 4 and the next is 9, which makes how the essay looks and feels a little uneven.

Answer 11

So maybe put some paragraphs that have similar topics together :) I can help with which ones it would be wise to do that on. super good job!

Answer 12

Thanks, Any help is appreciated ^^

Answer 13

@jojokiw3

Answer 14

mm so how is the best way to get edits and comments on this to you? o.o shall I copy paste sections here..or?

Answer 15

@Babynini sorry :/ was in for my math exam,
You can email me the sections you editted etc. @ Dgp2@email.arizona.edu

Answer 16

gunna head home, so wont be on for the next 10-60 mins XD

Answer 17

okay :) I am doing my maths now haha so I shall try and finish quickly!

Answer 18

MEh whenever you get a chance :)

Answer 19

Gaah sorry, bro. Taking forever:/ you any good at music theory? haha

Answer 20

@Babynini what would you suggest i title this? I need a cover page, and they want a title for it XD ANd rekon i should change my thesis?

ALso, what are the questions, i may or may not be able to helkp

Answer 21

I'm trying to finish le music theory o.o

Answer 22

Meh dont worry i got all night... :D

Answer 23

haha what time is it there?xD

Answer 24

10pm, bit tired, but yolo exam week is up just watching movies in english class tomorrow so Yeah XD

Answer 25

you lucky!!!

Answer 26

For the title: what is the main point of your essay? what were you told to write on?

Answer 27

Basically Reticence, and how it differs between cultures... SO i was thinking somehting like
"How reticence is culturally perceived in the United States versus Korea." im super tired btw so dont judge

Answer 28

Fabulous! I would make it a little more conscience though. haha we're all running on little sleep, no worries.

Answer 29

How would you make it more concise?

Answer 30

Reticence can be defined in two different ways: the inclination to keep silent and
uncommunicative, and the act of being culturally aware. Depending on the culture one grows up in and, or, is introduced to, the act of being reticent can be both socially acceptable and unacceptable. [This essay will take a look at how reticence differs between cultures, specifically looking at the United States and Korea.] The United States and Korea interpret reticence very differently.
For example, the United States sees it as an issue with the individual, whereas in Korea it is seen as being polite.

Intro: the bracketed part I added. The indentation I added as well because i'm not sure if that line needs to go into the introduction, unless that is your thesis?

Answer 31

I wasnt sure whether or not a bit of evidence would help or hurt my thesis.
Adding what you've put in ,i could say, "This essay will takea look at how reticence differs between cultures, specifically looking at the United States and Korea." and take out the "The US and Korea Interpret Reticence Very Differently" aswell retricethe evidence. (Leaving your Addition as my thesis?)

Answer 32

Sounds good :)

Answer 33

One way that reticence is interpreted differently in the United States than from Korea is in how it affects the individuals in either culture. Studies show that Americans are outgoing, informal and spontaneous; whereas Asians are more reserved, and rely on conventional patterns of expressions (92, K.W Kang and W.B Pearce). For example, a multi-cultural Korean woman, who can perform successfully in both cultures, was asked to participate in a study where she would have lunch with an American professor and lunch with a Korean professor while following the rules of communication in each culture. The woman did both, being more spontaneous in the western environment and more reserved in the Korean, and
said that she equally enjoyed both meetings, and that they were both equally friendly (92, K.W Kang and W.B Pearce). This means that even though the Korean way of communication may seem foreign and impolite, to a native Korean, this is the proper way to communicate.

Answer 34

^ Paragraph 2. Umm I made some changes, see if you can find them lol

Answer 35

Uno momento i think i've found an error with my intext citing lol

Answer 36

Ignore that last ms gi deleted, that was me being stupid

Answer 37

I see what you did there :) Rewording it like that sounds alot better :)

Answer 38

Any other major errors you may have found?

Answer 39

mmm lemme see.

Answer 40

Such things don’t even exist in Korea, and Koreans find it difficult to understand such things.

Awks. What are the "such things"? rephrase!!

Answer 41

"Things such as “therapeutic programs” that are designed to help reticent people don’t even exist in Korea, and Koreans find it difficult to understand such things. "

Answer 42

Gorgeous(:
Let me revise just a bit..to make it fancier xD

"Things such as “therapeutic programs” that are designed to help reticent people don’t even exist in Korea. To a Korean, these programs, which are so commonly accepted in the United States, prove difficult to even comprehend, since [...?...]. "

Answer 43

UNLESS you are running out of words. Then you can just stop this at "comprehend" or "understand"

Answer 44

Nah im not out of words, just not sure how to continue on in that case... "Since they are non-existant" or soemthing

Answer 45

Well, are these theraputic things necessary in the Korean culture? would they be helpful?

Answer 46

why is it that Americans use it and not Koreans? Are the Americans trying to fix something they deem a problem that Koreans think does not need fixing?

Answer 47

(I don't know the answers haha. Just asking questions to get you thinking xP For now I guess it's fine to just leave it there.)

Answer 48

Cool ^^ I really do appreciate the help :)
It's due tomorrow at 9am electronically, so i just figured finishing it tonight and turning it in would be the best way to go <3

Answer 49

aw no problem. Yes, that is very wise. I will try to not be so nit picky haha perfectionist o.o

Answer 50

Meh s'all good ^^

Answer 51

Reticence is also understood differently in how the societies function. In the United States, reticence is understood as a “Pathology” of normal communication behavior, the American culture sees reticence as more of a measure of an individual’s level of fear or anxiety associated with communication and have created “therapeutic programs” that focus on reducing a person’s reticence (93, K.W Kang and W.B Pearce, (Philips, 1968)). Things such as “therapeutic programs” that are designed to help reticent people don’t even exist in Korea. To a Korean, these programs, which are so commonly accepted in the United States, prove difficult to even comprehend. [TO TEST THIS?] A study was performed in which a group of students from Korea, and from the United States, were given a description of a woman who had either “high communication apprehensive” or “low communication apprehensive” and were asked to rate the women, both high and low apprehensiveness, on a scale of “Task attractiveness” and “social attractiveness” (93, K.W Kang and W.B Pearce (Eliot, 1980)). Both sets of students agreed that for task attractiveness the low apprehensive woman was more attractive, but on the social attractiveness scale, the results were the opposite, the Korean students favored the “higher apprehensive” woman, whereas the American students favored the “low apprehensive” woman (94, K.W Kang and W.B Pearce).

Answer 52

So here is the paragraph. Em, I may have accidentally combined two together without realizing. So tell me if that bracketed part is correct or not. And the paragraph may be too long now, i'm not sure.

Answer 53

Nah I think length wise it's fine.

Answer 54

Look sgood :) thx

Answer 55

You know what Nini, there's still so much left to read and go over.. would u mind just sicmming most of the paper and looking into my conclusion?

Answer 56

mhm!

Answer 57

ook, so just looking at it..I would say you need to add at least 3 sentences.

Answer 58

1) restate your thesis using close to the one you used in your intro but with different words
2) Evidence that supported that thesis in paragraph 1
3) evidence from paragraph 2
4) evidence from paragraph 3
5) In conclusion, we've seen this evidence, so we know the thesis is true

Answer 59

Like, they don't have to be in that order. But there's 5 sentences which = pretty good conclusion :)

Answer 60

alrighty, really appreciate all the help, ill probably just finish the conclusion and turn it all in XD

Answer 61

hehe ok

Answer 62

Gimme your email againn

Answer 63

Msg'd you it

Answer 64

Thankss. Hope this was all helpful!

Answer 65

100% better than what i could do on myu own

Answer 66

Good luck :)

Answer 67

Sleep happy!