Question

can anyone help me this paragraph! i jus need help with checking garmmar!
Primarily, women were not as important as men when it comes to fur trade industry. Eventually, women became part of the workforce for fur trade communities. Women were in fact, played a very important role for the fur trade, their jobs were included planting and harvesting crop, preserving and gathering food, making clothing and equipment such as moccasins and snow boots, canoes and many others equipment necessary for a men to travel on winter hunt.

Answer 1

You didn't let me finish on the other one haha :)

Here's what I think:
1) Primarily shouldn't be the way you start out your paragraph. It doesn't flow with the rest of it. Something like "Originally" may fit better here.
2) "when it came to the fur trade industry" would fit better than "when it comes to fur trade industry" - keep your tense consistent. Not sure if "the" is needed, I would add it.
3) "Women were in fact, played a very important role for the fur trade" should be "Women, in fact, played a very important role for the fur trade"
4) "fur trade, their jobs" is a run-on sentence. Put a period after "fur trade" and capitalize "their."
5) "their jobs were included planting" should be "Their jobs included." No were.
6) Don't forget the "and," and "others" should be "other" -
"food, and making clothing and equipment, such as moccasins and snow boots, canoes and many other equipment necessary for a men to travel on winter hunt."

The wording is awkward in a few places, but I fixed what I spotted. Not guaranteeing it's 100% correct though.

Answer 2

need more help and fan for future :)