Question

Can someone look at my news report and tell me which one is better

Answer 1

Madness end in tragic death:

Yesterday at 4:00 am, the guards found the body of an innocent girl named Ophelia. After investigation, the guards found out that her death was merely accidental. Although many people still believed that Ophelia committed suicide because she could not control the trauma from her father's death.
The guards said that "Gertrude had told us that someone was drowning in the stream". When I asked Gertrude "How did you know that Ophelia was drowning in the stream", She said that “I was enjoying a cool breeze on the Elsinore castle floor. From there I saw that Ophelia was sitting near a tree by a stream making circles of dead flowers for her hair. Suddenly she fell into the icy water of the stream.I rushed to informed the guards, but she had died before they could reach her.
According to some people, Laertes seemed very sad and angry because first of all, his father died and then her sister. Holt appeared very sad and emotional. He also justifies his love for Ophelia. Hamlet said that "I loved Ophelia very much. Forty thousand brothers could not love her as much as I did". Claudius called the Ophelia death day “the worst day in Denmark ". The story of Ophelia ended in a sad way.

Answer 2

Or

Answer 3

Madness end in tragic death

Guards found the body of innocent girl named Ophelia yesterday at 4 am. After investigating the guards claimed that it was an accident. Although, many people believe Ophelia suicide due to the trauma of her father's death.
The guards claimed Gertrude had stated that "someone was drowning in the stream". When asked from Gertrude, she said that:
(This is a block quote- double indent and no quotation marks are needed) “I am enjoying a cool breeze on Elsinore castle floor. Then from there I saw that Ophelia was sitting near a tree by a stream and making circles of dead flowers for her hair. Suddenly she fell into the icy water of the stream. Then, I immediately informed the guards, but unfortunately she died".
In the whole scenario Laertes seemed very sad and angry. First his father died and then his sister. Hamlet appeared to be very sad and emotional as well. He also justified his love for Ophelia. Hamlet stated he "loved Ophelia very much. Forty thousand brothers could not love her as much as I did". Claudius called The day of Ophelia's death “the worst day in Denmark ". The story of Ophelia ended in a sad way.

Answer 4

Which one looks more accurate and good

Answer 5

@Lady.Liv1776

Answer 6

@CompleteCowgurl17

Answer 7

Let me know If you find any mistake

Answer 8

I personally like the first one. It sounds more deliberative and official like a news report because it opens with a fact "Yesterday at 4:00 am". Good Job MTAL :)

Answer 9

@Lady.Liv1776 did you find any grammar or spelling mistake??

Answer 10

"After investigation, the guards found out that her death"

I would change "found out" to "concluded".

Answer 11

ok

Answer 12

@Lady.Liv1776 any other thing

Answer 13

I think it looks good :)

Answer 14

@Lady.Liv1776 Are you sure na??

Answer 15

@jackfrost33 can you please look at my news report

Answer 16

i like the first one better it flowed better

Answer 17

I like the first one, but I would switch around the sentences 'The guards claimed Gertrude had stated that "someone was drowning in the stream".' and 'Hamlet stated he "loved Ophelia very much. Forty thousand brothers could not love her as much as I did".' and say: "Gertrude said someone was drowning in the stream." claimed the guards. "I loved Ophelia very much. Forty thousand brothers could not love her as much as I did." stated Hamlet. See what I mean? :) Just a suggestion!

Answer 18

Oops, read the wrong one xD

Answer 19

Well if you decide to do the second one, I would recommend that! ^o^

Answer 20

@iMariella I will do the first but Is everything fine there

Answer 21

Yes, the first is the best. Everything is pretty okay in the second one, but it needs a little rewording and punctuation marks. x

Answer 22

Oh, I just realized the things I corrected in the second are in the first too. (Open Study looks so weird on my desktop.. so I couldn't tell xD) Please consider my suggestion :)

Answer 23

@iMariella but Is there any mistake in the first one

Answer 24

because I choose the first one

Answer 25

let me know if there is any mistake

Answer 26

Yes, use what I said in my first comment for the first one^-^

Answer 27

ok let me see what you said