Can someone tell me if this is a good Introduction to a persuasive essay on Why to allow the use of cell phones in school .....
What if one day there was a tragic incident in your child's school, and you had no means of communication because you disapprove in the use of cell phones in school? Well, that is just one reason why students should be allowed to use and bring their smart phones to school .

Question

Can someone tell me if this is a good Introduction to a persuasive essay on Why to allow the use of cell phones in school ..... 
 What if one day there was a tragic incident in your child's school, and you had no means of communication because you disapprove in the use of cell phones in school? Well, that is just one reason why students should be allowed to use and bring their smart phones to school .

anonymous · Answer

you should start of like cell phone should be used in varity ways and than start it like how u did

anonymous · Answer

Cyberbullying is on the rise. It's easy to be a cyberbully. Some kids don't even realize that they are being cyberbullies. Cyberbullying is often anonymous. Kids are disinhibited because there are no visual cues since you don't see the reaction of the victim. And sad but true, there are websites/apps that encourage cyberbullying such as Formspring and Honesty Box. We need to teach our children to be good digital citizens and this begins at home as soon as kids are online. Parents need to know what their kids are doing online, supervise and teach kids how to be responsible digital citizens. Now that laws are being passed, it's even more important for parents to be involved in their children's online life. Parents teach their children not to be bully's on the playground… they can teach them not to be bully's online, but to do this they need to know what they are doing online.

batmano3 · Answer

I have AP Lang and what my teacher told me is best not to always refer to the read by saying "you" because you dont want to make them feel as if you have a certain audience for this.

So what i would say is,

Phones and technology today keeps us-fellow students- focused and in touch with the world. When ever students are in danger but in school, they have their cellphones on hand to contact their parents. But what if that was taken away? The emergency call is lost and the student is more at risk in danger. To take away the privileges of a students use of their phone is like sending a police officer with no vest in a middle of a gun shoot out.