Question

Hey Guys, Please share your views on my essay.
Question and essay are mentioned below.
Thanks :)

Answer 1

do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people enjoy life more than older people do

use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Answer 2

I agree with the given statement. Young people in most of the cases do enjoy life more than the older people.
Most people in the age of twenty to thirty are blessed health wise and their bodies are not a blocker in any activity they want to take up. They travel to places around the world, withstanding variants of weather conditions someplaces extremely hot or cold. They are able to try a plethora of cuisine, meet new people and get new experiences. Of course money is a basic requirement for travelling but older people who are blessed financially cannot explore to such extent. In most of the cases, they cannot bear the bluntness of varying weather conditions and can't take up physically challenging activities such as sky diving, para gliding, underwater diving. The activities are enthralling and gives the person an instant sense of being alive. Young people are fortunate to be able to experience these feelings. There are exceptions, but older people in general miss out on these.
Young people have sharp memories and they can use it for positive activities such as learning a new language or learning about a different culture or learning to cook a different cuisine. These constructive activities may not be regarded by some young "brats" as activities of enjoyment. But they certainly gives a true sense of satisfaction to the learner. Older people though in their young age would have done the same but in this technologically advanced age where a humongous amount of knowledge is available in a person's hand. They certainly miss out by the limitations of the old age.
Young people can freely enjoy their life as they have less responsibility, they don't have to worry about their son's or daughter's studies or job. They don't have to think before spending money on a less useful activity such as gaming or gambling. They don't have to support the family of four. Older people have these responsibilities and they have to cut out often even on critical needs such as replacing their old car as they have to save for their daughter's tuition.
These are some reasons which I believe for holding my agreement to the statement that young people enjoy life more than older people do.

Answer 3

To be honest I feel like old people enjoy life more than young people Older people have money to spend which makes them a living they have authority over their own life and their children. Older people can do what they want they don't have to follow rules (except the law ofc).

Answer 4

However I agree with your written essay you make very valid points :)
BUT
"Young people have sharp memories and they can use it for positive activities such as learning a new language or learning about a different culture or learning to cook a different cuisine"
Not all young people can do this

Answer 5

Pooja I agree with this opinion as well, but I am looking for comments on my writing in general. This is more like a English essay test..

Answer 6

ohhh oops :/
sorry...
I like what you wrote however you are making hasty generalizations....
"Young people have sharp memories and they can use it for positive activities such as learning a new language or learning about a different culture or learning to cook a different cuisine"
Perhaps add the word some?

Answer 7

Let me rephrase my request, this is an independent task, the rater is not looking for the correct answer to the statement. They will be rating my essay with regards to the usage of English and connection of ideas, if i have expressed my views clearly and supported them with enough information.

Answer 8

ok then its fine looks great =)

Answer 9

Looks good :) really good opinions

Answer 10

Needs a lot of work.

1) Get a better translator. What is the original language?

2) "Enjoy" is not well-defined. You seem to be focusing on activities that younger people are more likely to enjoy. So? This narrow definition is self-serving and does not answer the question. For example, is recklessness really enjoyment? Is risk directly related to enjoyment? That would be a very bold definition.

3) Older vs. Younger is not well-defined. You're jumping all over the place. Really, though, since you cannot define this clearly, the prompt is a silly generalization and cannot motivate a discussion of any value or substance.

4) Awkward words:
"blocker"
"blessed"
"variants"
"plethora"
"bluntness"
"enthralling"
"humongous"

5) Awkward phrases:
"want to take up"
"someplaces extremely hot or cold"
"cannot explore to such extent"
"cannot bear the bluntness"
"an instant sense of being alive"
"sharp memories and they can use it"
"by the limitations of the old age"
"have to cut out often"
"reasons which I believe"
"for holding my agreement"

Rethink all that and you should be closer to a higher score on your assessment. Mechanical translators cannot do feelings. Words have subtle variations of meaning to the native speaker. It is very difficult for a machine to know that.

Answer 11

@tkhunny thanks for your views. I will work on the comments you gave. But I didn't use a translator, I wrote it by myself last night.

Answer 12

I do find that hard to believe. You had to use some sort of translator. Maybe it was in your head. Speaking ANY language well requires you to THINK it internally. You cannot translate well on the fly. When you look up a word in a dictionary, you see many possible choices for the translation. Some choices mean sort of what you want. Others do not. It is not usually easy to tell which are which. Good luck.