Question

Okay I genuinely want feedback on my book...anyone?
Just posted it in comments section.

Answer 1

"Savannah. Savannah we're coming back. Don't worry about us we love you." My mother holds my eight year old face up to hers. My dad stands behind her. They know I'm worried. They wouldn't even tell me where they are going. I begged them not to go. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that something was going to happen. Something that would alter everything about me.

"You'll be okay," my father says. "We'll be back before you can say 'potato'. Okay?" Mom lets go of my face and gets in the car. Dad gives me a hug and follows after her. I tried to go after them but my nanny held me back. Just before my father turns the car on I see a figure in a black car that's right across the street from my parents. They have blue eyes. Deep blue eyes. Like the ocean. They're holding a gun before I can even process any of it I hear four gunshots go off and I see blood. One bullet hits my mom in the chest. Another, my mother's head. Another, my father's arm. Another, my father's heart. There's blood everywhere, but I can't look away. Shortly after I remember the ambulance being there but I didn't hear the sirens. The nanny picks me up. Just before we walk in the house I look back and whisper one word. Only one. But the most important one of my life as I see my mother and father being inserted into the ambulance.

"Potato" and then I start screaming.

I'm screaming. The sheets are strangling me. I can't breathe. I throw them off of me and start crying. It happened eight years ago and I still can't sleep since that day.

Written By: Rhonda Sommer All Rights Reserved

Answer 2

@PizzaLover123

Answer 3

@rvc @RedNeckOutLaw @rsilverioo

Answer 4

it would be better if you had posted this in writing section :)

Answer 5

wow you wrote awesome!
very well
heart touching

Answer 6

Rhonda give me a sequel..or what ever....NOW

Answer 7

@RhondaSommer

Answer 8

@Anaise you can find it on wattpad all you need is an account which basically requires an email

Answer 9

Wait... @RhondaSommer isn't the word originally 'dreaming' not 'potato' not that I have a problem with the new word

Answer 10

the word was originally potato; i changed it to dreaming. lol

Answer 11

@bunnielover948

Answer 12

@rvc @Anaise @bunnielover948 I posted my second chapter in the writing section >.<