Question

Hey,
I want to see what you think of my song I am working on. I write Christian songs.

Answer 1

VERSE: 1
I'm standing here in the night looking at the beauty you spoke into motion. The stars are reflecting your radiant, and they're dancing for you. Yeah, The moon in the sky I can almost see your fa-ce, cause it's like a mirror to this earth. And while I am standing here..
CHORUS:
My hear is rejoicing while tears stream down my face, causes all I want to do is to praise you. I can't no, I can't stop praising you. Cause all around me shows you existences. How can someone not see it. (This is not to hurt or get others mad because of your beliefs! I understand we all have different beliefs!)
VERSE: 2
I'm standing here in the Autumn wind, looking at the beauty you spoke into motion. The leaves on the trees they're showing you existence, and they're dancing for you. The snow on the ground is like.... What? Can you help me?

Answer 2

Here is what is sounds sorta like... There is no verse 2 in this recording!

Answer 3

http://slide.ly/view/bf2631341bb1619d5b9b3c821bcd1399

Answer 4

Super beautiful so far. I'm not an expert on songwriting, but here's a couple ideas.
The snow on the ground..
are like crystals, reflecting your love to me.
is white and pure, like your love for me.
Hope this helps a bit!

Answer 5

Me being Christian too, I really like this. Keep it up. :)

Answer 6

Nice work, really love your writing !!! I write songs myself and record so its pretty good!

Answer 7

Thanks so much you all!

Answer 8

@La0827 Really like your lyrics!

Answer 9

Good. I'm Jewish.

Answer 10

its great

Answer 11

The lyrics are fine I suppose. I'll be honest and say that your voice could use quite a bit of work. Very very pitchy. But even that wasn't the worst part. The thing that I found the most irritating was the composition of the song. Using computer generated noises and then talk-singing isn't my idea of good music. The melody consisted of probably two maybe three notes (intended anyways), If I were you I would really rethink this song entirely. I don't mean to be rude. I admire your confidence in posting this and your desire to create music. That alone gives you potential but I'm afraid you need to work on your overall music creation skills.

Answer 12

I am sorry to hear that. :/ I don't have great things at all for music. I was just wondering how it would be that's all. I understand that I would have to do more work if I really was doing this. All I have is my computer and a very bad mic. :( Though I was told by several music teachers that my voice is beautiful. It only sounds bad because of my mic @tanner23456

Answer 13

Ok, maybe if you were to sing a song that you didn't write with a real melody it would sound good. I don't know. It's hard to tell.But if you plan on writing music in the future, I'd probably look into learning some music theory so you understand how to create a structure.

Also, you'd be surprised how you can sound with just a computer and a crappy mic. Try this site if you want. www.soundtrap.com

Answer 14

okay @tanner23456
I will try :) Your a great singer too!