Question

Tell me how i did i also need to finish so plz help.. story in comments

Answer 1

Life of lies

It all started in a small town called Georgetown. In that town lived a girl named Liana Garcia. A teenager with bright red hair and eyes dark as night. She was always alone no matter where she went, always getting picked on. Grew up never understanding the meaning of life. She started giving up on everything, knowing no one would understand how she felt inside. The only thing she didn’t understand is, what happened to her when she was just a little girl? At the age of ten she asked her mother why she keeps telling the doctor that they got her when she was three years old. Her mother looked her straight in the eyes one day and asked if she really wanted to know. Liana answered with a nod and her mom told her that her Uncle and Aunt, Leo and Clair were her real parents. On that day she also found out that the people who raised her were her uncle and aunt. Ever since she was taken away from her real parents they have been her guardians. Leo and Clair were drug addicts and alcoholics, and because of that they were in a car accident. Did they not know that if they weren’t drunk or high on crack then their little girl wouldn’t have had a fractured skull? Her father was taken to a hospital in a helicopter while her mother took off with the child instead of heading towards the hospital. Ever since liana found out about her real parent’s she’s been trying to find out more information about the lies her whole family told her. One day she thought she was better off dead, knowing nobody would even care, until she met him. A boy named James Leonor, an honor student whose life is as perfect as hers. When their eyes met she knew she felt a spark. That day when she was going to give her life away god sent her an angel from the heavens above. The following day he noticed her crying and asked what the matter was. When she told him that her grandfather had passed that day, he felt sorry and didn’t know what to do. So on the day of the funeral he surprised her when he showed up. That’s when she felt the spark again and knew that he was something worth staying alive for. A couple months later she and James got closer than ever, always counting on each other. He gave her a meaning for life. Whenever she was letting go of hope he was there to bring it back. He told her that he once lived here in Georgetown before he moved to san Angeles. So she listened to his story and when he told her that he met a girl like her, little did she know that in the past they actually met? Two years went passed until the day he didn’t go to school because of a dentist appointment. He always made sure they kept in touch whenever they weren’t together. By then they were a couple, she never thought a guy like him would be in love with a girl like her. The day James wasn’t there she felt all lonely even though she made friends it didn’t feel the same without James. Later on that day she received horrible news that made her feel like how she felt before she met James. James brother Zak told her that when they went to the dentist they have given James medicine to fall asleep so they can do their job. An when Zak left the dentist with James in the passenger seat they were hit by a semi. Then Liana knew that something happened to the love of her life. She didn’t even bother letting Zak finish, because she already knew that James didn’t survive the crash. Even though with the tragic loss of her boyfriend she made a promise to never leave this world. So day by day she tried moving on and eventually she did. Kids at school continued to make fun of her and she no longer cared. So what she did was become something different. She started getting in trouble with everybody, she just gave up. She dated other guys, but never felt the same way she did when she was with James. An she hated that she couldn’t get him off her mind. Later on she discovered that she had a little sister named May. Yet when she tried asking if it was true, all that her family members did was just say it wasn’t true. She knew three people who would tell her anything she wanted to know and like always they did. Now she knows that she’s not able to know any of this information until she’s eighteen. Ever since the tragic she has been changing her emotions. It wasn’t until last year when she started to feel a whole different person. She met this one guy who changed her, who showed her a whole different meaning to life. He’s the smart type of guy and she wanted to know more about him. So they started talking and eventually tried going out, but it never really worked out. They would have problems like ex-girlfriends and spending more time together. So in the end they broke up, but she didn’t know what was wrong with her. For some reason she couldn’t get him out of her head. She just didn’t understand what was going on. She thought if she tried forgetting him then she wouldn’t be as confused. Yet, it didn’t really happen, they started talking more and more. For some reason they kept going out, then again it still didn’t work out. It wasn’t until summer when they gave it one last shot, so for it hasn’t been so bad. Noticing that the feelings inside and the confusion she’s been feeling is because, she’s in love with him. Then it happens, she gets a flashback and starts to bring herself down. She starts to worry, doesn’t even know if he actually feels the same about her. By then school has already started and now that she’s a sophomore. She only has two more years of school then she’ll end up graduating. So yet again she and her boyfriend have been on and off, but the only thing she doesn’t worry about is pain. She might feel hurt, but its only puppy love and thought its only high school. She knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. No matter what it takes she’ll do anything to stay with him. All girls need a happy ending and she wants him to have one too. She no longer have to worry about things that run through her mind. Now a days the kids no longer pick on her and she grew up knowing how to take care of herself. She’s no longer have friends now she has sisters and brothers that she didn’t grew up with. She has forgotten about the past and moved on. She knows that in the future hell might break lose about the truth of her childhood and she doesn’t mind. As long as the people she love are there with her she no longer needs to be worried…..her story continues…….

Answer 2

Correction:

As Linda*** grew, she never could understand the meaning of life.

Answer 3

Try breaking the story up, to make it more organized like:


ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.oooooooooooooooooooooo.ooooooooooo.oooooooooooooooooooo.o,ooooooo.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.oooooooooooooo.ooooo.ooooooooooooooo,o.ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.ooooooooooooooooooooooo.ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.ooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooo.


Instead of it all jumbled up together. It makes it harder to read, and unpleasant.

Answer 4

Try adding more fluent word plays to increase your vocabulary fluency. Like add more enriching adjectives to make it seem better:

1) The garden had many beautiful plants. The moor didn't. This is probably how you are talking, try to make it MORE enchanting, but great start @karrie631 like:

2) The vineyard flourished with assorted variations of beautiful vegetation! Each plant was always captivating to graze your eyes upon! The sun strikes the blue crystal lake, which was found in the middle of the garden, perfectly each day. However, the moor was a dusty place, tumble weeds present every where you turn. You get depressed and eerie, but oblivious to the reason why. Oh what a dreadful place.

Answer 5

thank you

Answer 6

Welcome, doing great so far

Answer 7

really?

Answer 8

yep kudos.

Answer 9

O fix 'An she hated....' to She hated. The word 'and' doesn't start off a sentence, it is a conjunction word.

Answer 10

annnddd use italics to tell the reader, flash backs, add dialogue too,

I am done <3!

Answer 11

lol im on it