Question

I will give a medal. Please this is my first time on here. I have honor roll but i am very bad at revising. Could someone please help me. It would be ace.

Answer 1

Sure, I can help!

Answer 2

great. im sorry it took so long to reply. my laptop was readjusting some things.

Answer 3

No problem. What do you need help revising?

Answer 4

1.Review your informational article. Choose one body paragraph to revise. Copy this paragraph into a new document.
2.Combine two or more sentences in your paragraph for varied syntax.
3.Review your paragraph for any use of passive voice. Revise those sentences.
4.Write a short reflection paragraph on the revision process. Describe the changes you made and how these changes improved your writing.
(MY PARAGRAPH)
The passage Antibiotics states, “Antibiotics can be bacteriostatic (bacteria stopped from multiplying) or bactericidal (bacteria killed).” This assures readers that antibiotics were made to aid us and keep our bodies healthy. In fact, more than half of the people all over the globe have made an attempt on them and have had successful results. Doctors, children, animals, and plants have been exposed to antibiotics with amazing after effects. In 1928, a bacteriologist named Alexander Fleming used the mold to destroy the bacteria from that culture. The name of this mold was penicillin. This would go on to treat harsh infections.

Answer 5

I live in England and Ireland so it can be pretty difficult. in case your wondering. Yes my real name is Australia

Answer 6

Oh that is a great name :). Okay so let me wrap my head around this. I'm going to fix any grammar problems in that paragraph, combine two sentences that can be combined, and then write a short paragraph on what I changed. I'm confused for number three. If I already revised the entire paragraph what revisions do I need to do to the passive voice (if used)?

Answer 7

Nah i can figure that out. Thank you very much. you're a life saver

Answer 8

in addition, is that you in that picture

Answer 9

Okay, and yes that is me.

Answer 10

Not to sound strange but cute. My cam isn't working. been trying all day to fix it.

Answer 11

I figured out how to do number three i just need help with the others.

Answer 12

Here is the new paragraph.

The passage Antibiotics states, “Antibiotics can be bacteriostatic (bacteria stopped from multiplying) or bactericidal (bacteria killed).” This assures readers that antibiotics were made to aid us and keep our bodies healthy. In fact, more than half of the people all over the globe have made an attempt on them and have had successful results. Doctors, children, animals, and plants have been exposed to antibiotics with amazing after effects. In 1928, a bacteriologist named Alexander Fleming used mold to destroy the bacteria from that culture. The name of this mold was Penicillin and it would go on to treat harsh infections.

The things I changed:

1) Antibiotics in the first sentence should be italicized since it is the name of a passage.
2) Capitalized Penicillin in the final sentence. (this one is tricky, it can be left uncapitalized or capital).
3) I combined the final two sentences.

This paragraph was actually revised/written pretty well so I just had to follow the rules you needed to do. Hope this helps :)

Answer 13

omg. thank you so much <3 :)

Answer 14

Anytime! If you ever need help with anything, just tag me :)

Answer 15

will do mate