Question

A new part of my story :) Plz tell if there are any problems (like wrong spelling) and tell me if i need to change somethings to make it more interesting

Answer 1

"Hi." She smiled at him and lend against the tree that he was leaning on a few minutes ago.

He didn't like it. He felt as if she was doing something sneaky and decided to ignore her. It was best for both of them but the girl didn't stop trying to talk to him.

"Hello? Can you talk?" She kept smiling.

He shook his head, he didn't want to talk to her. He saw her frown and look towards her friends then back at him.

"It's a shame that you're a lair. I thought you were going to be a good boy, but I'm fine with that.

He rolled his eyes and looked at the time. The bus should be here by now. A small honk let him know he was right. The big rusty old school bus pulled up and to a stop, the door open and kids started to all pile in. Knight was one of the first ones on, he didn't want to talk to that girl anymore than he had to. Yet their little chat wasn't over, once he grabbed the first empty seat she followed and sat down beside him.

"Come on, why can't ya speak to me? Too 'afraid?"

He groaned.

"What do you want?" He asked finally speaking.

The girl looked pleased that she got him to talk.

"Nothing much, I'm just bored."

Really! Couldn't you had just bothered someone else? He sighed and laid he head on the window and cloed his eyes...till he felt something soft press against his head. He eyes shot open and he stared at the girl. Katy.

"You're the girl from detention ugh...Katy, right?" He asked.

She just smiled.
Yup, that's her. Knight thought about what Greyson said. He looked at Katy, she was looking at her friends; he once again laid his head on the window and closed his eyes.
**********************************
Katy turned her head from her friends and looked at the new kid from detention. He was cute, cute enough to make her friends envious. Besides she already knew most the girls in school liked him and he just started school yesterday. He yawned. Katy smiled, he would make a good boy friend.

She passed her friends a look before yawning and looking at the sleeping boy next to her. He looks cute while he sleeps, Katy thought to herself before laying her head on his shoulder. The bus had a lot more stops before they actually went to the school so they would have some time to sleep... or so she thought.

*********************************
Greyson dropped his bag to the ground next to Ray and Luke before walking over to put his arm around Claire. She smiled and then looked down to finish her homework, a 1,500 word essay. He could sense something was bout to change their lives, Claire's, his, everyone's and that the new kid, Knight, was going to be in the middle of it all.

Answer 2

i like it i read it be for i new you was on great job friend

Answer 3

i liked it but as a tip i always used was bigger words . its very nice :)

Answer 4

Oh kewl @briannabug and ok @cooliostudy

Answer 5

@briannabug is reading it

Answer 6

you put cloed instead closed in this part= He sighed and laid he head on the window and (cloed) his eyes...

Answer 7

oh and that girl kinda sounds like me (The annoying talkative one not the boy crazy side) :D

Answer 8

leaned against the tree not lend

Answer 9

a liar not lair

Answer 10

the big and rusty old schoolbus not big rusty old schoolbus. TOo many adjectives together without at least commas

Answer 11

first empty seat, she followed

remember good puncuation

Answer 12

not 'afraid, just afraid

Answer 13

Try

"What do you want?" He groaned, giving up the fight for silence.

Answer 14

@Ray_Masters

Answer 15

closed his eyes not cloed

Answer 16

his head on the window not he head

Answer 17

Am I too straightforward? Can I be your editor?

Answer 18

uh wow at least he now knows every single little thing in his story

Answer 19

lol and that wasnt everything

Answer 20

@CuriousQuestions XD i could use an editor, would you like the job?

Answer 21

Absolutely!!! :D Thanks!!! Tag me or message me when you add a new part. Also, do you want me to post the edited version here?