Question

I would like constructive feedback.

Answer 1

"Help"
By: Rhonda Sommer

Help me see why people don’t understand pain.
I mean,
Isn't it strange?

How people in pain want help
But went others ask for it from them
They shrug like they don't understand.

"Don’t worry."
"Your fine."
"It'll be okay."
But I'm not okay.
I tell you this often
And instead of helping me

You look at me in awe
Like there is something wrong
Like I shouldn’t be this way.

I KNOW I shouldn't be this way!
I've been telling myself this for ages!
Help me feel better!

I want you to disagree
With my self accusations
Not agree and make me feel even more precarious

Help me through!
Fight on MY side!
Don't be my opposition.

Answer 2

"Afraid"
By: Rhonda Sommer
Looking over the edge I wonder
Should I jump?
Is it worth it?

Atop a 500 foot building I consider death
This is what I have become
A monster to myself

Looking in the mirror
Feels Painful

Seeing people laugh
Fills me with envy

How are you all so happy?
Is everything perfect in your life?
Does nothing ever go wrong?

A crowd of people has gathered.
Everyone is now looking at me
I have been spotted.

My life's decisions go through my mind
What I have I done?

Have I just become such a mess?
Have I pushed everyone away?

Feeling alone and afraid
I close my eyes
And jump.

And that is when I wake up
And realize
That I want to live

I am not alone.
I am just afraid.

Answer 3

Suicidal People
By: Rhonda Sommer


Today I was talking
to what I called a friendAnd he told me that I shouldn’t be friendswith the “suicidal people"

And so I looked at him and I told him that they aren't just suicidal
I said
They have a story that is just waiting to be told
They want people to understand that they aren't just suicidal.

These suicidal are tired of living life
Because people like you don't take the time to help them when they don’t know what to do
And so you criticize them instead
You tell them to suck it up and move on
 
I talk to these people with an effort of understanding
Because they aren't just suicidal
They don’t want to live life
Because people like you tell them at every turn they are ‘different'

And when they go home they are told that they are worthless
They start to believe it.
When they are hurting and you tell them they are broken
They start to feel it

And So I will listen.
And when I am the only person who will listen to their pleas
When I attempt to understand their frustrations
They might feel like they have a reason to live.

So please understand "friend"
Understand that I have been there before
That I was just one of the "Suicidal People"
And someone decided to listen

So I decided to live

Answer 4

"Welcome to America"
By: Rhonda Sommer

Were the girl on the front cover
Isn't even the girl on the front cover

Were the man in the magazine
Is photo shopped for more muscles

Welcome to America

Where double standards are common
And rudeness is expected

Where laziness is frequent
And poor work is unevaluated.

Welcome to America

Where you can get bullied
For wearing glasses

Where you can be made fun of
For a genetic disability

Welcome to America

Where fast food is the common eating place
But you're expected to be skinny

Where good grades are expected
And frustrated kids don’t get the help they need.

Welcome to America.

Answer 5

"Judgement"
By: Rhonda Sommer

He calls a girl 'fat'
But doesn’t know that her mom recently died
And cooking was something special she did with her mom

She calls him 'stupid'
But doesn’t know that his father beats him
And he cant get help to understand the work

He calls her 'worthless'
But doesn’t know that she has nothing
Because she has no family and has no one to love.

Why do we do this?
Why do we ignore the fact that people have problems?
Why do we choose to ignore it?
When did we become so oblivious to other peoples problems?

I don’t understand
Why we choose to judge others
And we ignore the problems in our own lives
And somehow pointing out other peoples problems

Has become a type of therapy
And so we go round and round and round
Calling each other names
Forgetting the reason we started arguing in the first place.

She is not 'fat'
He is not 'stupid'
And she is not 'worthless'

They are people!
They have feelings
And whether we like it or not
What we do is wrong.

Answer 6

woo hoo way to go rhonda i love oyur poems<333 =]

Answer 7

you're really good!
there is a website called allpoetry.com where you can publish your poems.

Answer 8

thats so good

Answer 9

which one @luvhawks711

Answer 10

They're good! Just a couple of typos on the "Welcome to America" one...

"Were the girl on the front cover
Isn't even the girl on the front cover

Were the man in the magazine
Is photo shopped for more muscles"

Just the two words "were" need fixing. :)