Two years ago, General Reginald Edward Harry Dyer was forced to retire the army. This retirement happened because of a catastrophic event that led to many deaths and long term suffering. Some victims have to face this pain for the rest of their lives. This is worse than death. Because of this, I believe that it was the right call to make General Dyer retire.
tell me what to add to make a better intro

Question

Two years ago, General Reginald Edward Harry Dyer was forced to retire the army. This retirement happened because of a catastrophic event that led to many deaths and long term suffering. Some victims have to face this pain for the rest of their lives. This is worse than death. Because of this, I believe that it was the right call to make General Dyer retire.
tell me what to add to make a better intro

anonymous · Answer

Ok

anonymous · Answer

You still here?

kaylak12345 · Answer

yes what should i add

gracygirl · Answer

I like this as an intro, maybe go over and add a comma or two instead of periods.

kaylak12345 · Answer

lol thanks but i need it to be longer lol i have to write 3 pages lol

kaylak12345 · Answer

Two years ago, on July 17th ,  General Reginald Edward Harry Dyer was forced to retire the army. This retirement happened because of a catastrophic event that led to many deaths and long term suffering. The massive destruction of a perfect empire was called the Amritsar Masscre. Some victims have to face this pain for the rest of their lives. This is worse than death. Because of this, I believe that it was the right call to make General Dyer retire. 
this is what i have corrected so far

gracygirl · Answer

Good for an intro! Good luck on your three pages.

kaylak12345 · Answer

lol thanks