Question

Can anyone help me fix any issues that you can find, please be very critical.

Answer 1

"If they ban books, they might as well lock us away from the world." (Rory Edwards, The ALA) While I understand that those who lobby to have books banned mean well, it is one thing to make that choice for your child, but is it really fair to force your choice on every child? I could understand requiring books to have a rating system much like we have for movies and video games today, but banning any book is denying freedom of speech from the author. An author writes to share a thought, a feeling, and a moment in time, not to have their book censored. According to The American Library Association," Censorship can be subtle, almost imperceptible, as well as blatant and overt, but, nonetheless, harmful." It is harmful in the way of downgrading others work so you don't have to deal with it. Have we become a society that dictates what we can and cannot read, or do we allow children to learn to think for themselves? An example of this undue censorship occurred when a group of people, tried to have the children’s book Charlotte’s Web banned for religious reasons, according to, commondreams.org “this sort of thing is par for the lunatic small- minded course."

Answer 2

Is this an essay you wrote?

Answer 3

This is the intro, my teacher liked the rest, would you like here notes

Answer 4

You just want to follow the following format for your paragraphs:

Intro (4-5 sentences)
Hook (1)
Bridge (2-3)
Claim/thesis (4)

Body 1 & 2

Topic sentence (1)
Bridge (2)
Quote (3-4)
Explanation (5-6)
Quote (7-8)
Explanation (8-9)
Closing (10)

Conclusion 3-4 sentences

Does this help!


Mrs. Padilla
English I
Spadilla33@learn.flvs.net
(321) 300-6134

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On Fri Apr 8 10:25:16 2016, kyah@learn.flvs.net wrote:

> Which parts do you want be to delete? Should I just delete it or change it to sound neutral? ( if last option how would I do it)
> ---------------------------
> On Fri Apr 8 09:47:11 2016, spadilla33@learn.flvs.net wrote:
>
> > Assignment: 05.09 Writing Your Argument
> > Comments: Kyah,
> >
> > Thanks for making some changes! I think your intro could be cut down a little more--you don't want to give too much away, but I love that you have so many things to say and so much support! That is awesome! :-)
> >
> > Mrs. Padilla
> >
> > Hi! Kyah,
> >
> > Thanks for putting in such great detail! You may have a little bit "too much"! Try to select 2 quotes and focus on discussing the quotes rather than trying to pack in too many quotes and having little explanation. General rule: 2 quotes per paragraph and at least 2-3 sentences of explanation for each quote. Does that help?
> >

Answer 5

so u need help finding what you can delete?

Answer 6

basically to not give away to much

Answer 7

u can the 2nd and 3rd

While I understand that those who lobby to have books banned mean well, it is one thing to make that choice for your child, but I don’t think it’s really fair to force your choice on every child.

Answer 8

Thank you,