Question

so i wrote a poem and a song.... can yiou give me some feedback on them?

Answer 1

the song:

not goodbye by arrow-chan (me)

Intro

Can't believe its been this long,

Since I last seen you smile.

Guess the worlds got you down,

You hide your pain,

behind all these facades,

You lie to yourself so you don't fall apart.

Its just too much for you to bare...

You can't hold on anymore.

Well that's what you say.

Verse 1

I know what its like to be alone,

I know what its like to be broken down,

To be so close to giving up,

You just wanna slit your wrist,

You just wanna scream,

You think its not worth it,

That your useless and its all over now.

Its not quite over yet my friend.

i'm gonna make it all okay.

I can't say goodbye....

I won't say goodbye.....

Chorus

it's not too late to turn back now.

Put down that knife,

Drop that gun,

Just take my hand,

I'll show you what your worth.

Just give me a chance.

Verse 2

We can't keep living this life of misery,

Time to take a different road.

forget your pain... just let it go.

There's no time for this sadness.....

We have to keep on going,

Just keep thinking of the better days,

What's the point in holding onto the broken memories?

All it does is make you frown....

No more looking back now,

We've gone too far to end it all.

it's alright to cry sometimes...

I know it hurts to fight this battle

but, one day you'll see what your fighting for.

Chorus

it's not too late to turn back now.

Put down that knife,

Drop that gun,

Just take my hand,

I'll show you what your worth.

Just give me a chance.

Bridge

Oh it's not over yet.....

No i just won't let you go....

Gotta keep those feelings hidden

Gotta leave the pain behind,

We'll get through this together...

I'll make it all okay.....

You know it'll be okay....

Chorus

it's not too late to turn back now.

Put down that knife,

Drop that gun,

Just take my hand,

I'll show you what your worth.

Just give me a chance.

Outro

I'll show you what i see,

You'll see why i need you.

Don't forget, I'm still here....

I've always been here, right by your side.

one day you'll see what i see.....

There's too much to lose,

You can't leave it all behind.

your worth believing in,

your life is worth living

I won't let you go....

I won't say goodbye.....

This isn't goodbye......

Answer 2

the poem:
that day by arrow-chan

The rain pours down like my tears.
I cried out for you, but I always receive no answer.
The pain inside me is that of being torn apart.
Where were you when I was broken?
A broken smile, a broken heart,
Yet, somehow I still forgive you.
Feeling lost and numb I still continue.
When the clouds fill the infinitely vast sky
and all my joy is gone,
I still continue to think of those days,
the days I had you.
I'll always wait for you.....

Answer 3

There wonderfully put together @zoeeh127 ^-^

Answer 4

thank you so much.....

Answer 5

I agree with @Atrineas here @Zeronknight both are very amazing very will thought out and powerful with the words you choose

Answer 6

oh thank you so much

Answer 7

Beautifully written, @zoeeh127 ^.^

Answer 8

thank you @YoungStudier