Question

Can someone proofread my essay?

Answer 1

I don't think "cheque like edeposit" is correct. Also from what I've learned from writing essays, I would avoid using the word, "thing"
You could use bigger words other than "bad" or "good" but other than those I would think it seems fine.

Answer 2

Your overall essay is well written, One thing i would would suggest is try and use complex words, it would make the essay more convincing and make make it sound like youve analyze the topic well. =) Good luck

Answer 3

I agree with them, just make sure you show that you understand the topic and that all the material is covered.