Question

would u read this and correct my mistakes ?
http://prntscr.com/b76k2f

Answer 1

Well, you could easily reword the first two sentences and combine them.

Answer 2

: In 1373, Dr. Ali, a graduate of private law, (you put stared, I think you meant started) started his professional job as an attorney by passing a Bar Association entrance test.

Answer 3

The second sentence is kind of out of place though. :l

Answer 4

Cooperation with--advisor.