Question

Here's a story i've started working on, please let me know if theres any, errors or just leave your comments below. Thank you.

Answer 1

Dancing With The Devil

Long ago, where young women wore ball gowns and men dressed their best. There was a girl named Mary, whose mother was strict as a sour apple. She was never able to go to the balls and dance with her friends, to be honest she didn’t really have any friends. Her mother always had her doing house chores, while she went out with the other lady’s. Mary never thought it was fair; so one night she designed a gown made out of Egyptian cotton and headed straight to the ball.
Walking up the steps to the mansion, she nearly tripped and fell into the arms of the one man her heart longed for. Leonardo Barrera, the only man Mary had ever fallen in love with. His glossy black hair, eyes dark as night and skin glowing like the sun. Looking into his eyes, Mary felt drawn to him, feeling his skin touching hers felt like an electric shock. His skin cold as ice, yet being in his arms felt so right. He lifted her to her feet and escorted her inside his home, heading to the ballroom her heart skipped a beat.
The ballroom was like a gold mine, the walls were painted gold, the windows were covered with red drapes, and the doors to the balcony were open. The fresh breezed that flowed over them was followed by a scent of roses and lily’s. Above, the chandelier had tiny diamonds, making it sparkle with beauty. The ballroom was the most beautiful place she had ever been to. When she finally looked at him she noticed he stood there with his eyes locked on her.
He held his hand out and bowed, to show her he wished to have a dance, not with any girl, but with her. She accepted the offer and took his hand; they danced throughout the night nonstop. When they were done dancing, he had gotten two glasses of champagne, one for him and for her. They cheered and talked about their personal life. When the night was over he gently grabbed her hand and pressed it against his lips, giving her a token of love.
A year later, Mary was getting tired of her mother accusing Leonardo of being the devil, just because her mother couldn’t find a man of her own. Even though her dad left her mom the moment he found out she was with child. Doesn’t mean she had to give up loving the one man who actually paid attention to. Mary’s mother went mad, when Leonardo had asked for Mary’s hand. She didn’t agree to the marriage, Mary got mad and told her that they were in love and were to get married right away. With that said Mary walked out and Leonardo followed behind, tears dripped her from her face. No matter what bad things happened in the past, she wasn’t going to let her happiness get ruined in the future.

The day everyone had been waiting for finally came, throughout the year Mary had made some friends. Everyone was there, the judge, her friends, the sheriff; the only person who’s she wished was there was her mother. She thought about the week before, when she went to go see her mother for the engagement. It pierced her heart like a knife, but she couldn’t stand not being happy and Leonardo was the one thing that made her happy. A knock on the door awoke her from her thoughts; one of the maidens told her that it was time. “ Don’t go with him!’ a voice warned her. Turning around she noticed she was alone, shaking her head to get the voices out of her head. Thinking about what her mother told her, was like a cycle roaming through her mind.
When the ceremony was over, everyone cheered and congratulated them. The music started playing and couples made their way to the dance floor. Leonardo reached his hand out and bowed, just like when they first met, she accepted the offer. Wrapping her arms around his neck, he pulled her close by the waist. As he leaned in for a kiss on the lips, a woman screamed, turning around she saw someone she least expected to see. Her mother was screaming for her to get away from him, she started walking closer when Leonardo tightened his grip. When she noticed her mother stop and the look on her face. She turned around to see the guy she married wasn’t Leonardo. Her mother had been right throughout the whole time. Who stood before was the devil himself.
The last time her mother saw Mary, was when Mary was reaching out for her. The ground started shaking, the lights started flickering and mist had flowed over everyone’s heads and screams filled the air. When the lights turned back on, the Devil and Mary were nowhere to be seen, it was the last they ever saw them again. They say; he had married her, so she could become his companion in the underworld. If only Mary listened to her mother…