Question

A star is born when clouds of dust and elements are gathered together in a certain space due to gravity, more and more mass and therefore pressure builds. When there becomes enough pressure it over comes the electronic reclusive and there's this big force between two hydrogen nuclei they are pushed together and GIANT amounts of energy are given off forming helium atoms. This energy is then used to fuse other nuclei together. This is compared to humans by there two sex cells they make something just like stars

Answer 1

@Will.H

Answer 2

is this good for the last question you saw @Will.H

Answer 3

Looks nice but the last part doesn't make sense tho
And doesn't imply why humans cycle and stars are somehow congruent!
BTW what's two sex cells tho

Answer 4

femal and male

Answer 5

Might I suggest a quick edit?

Answer 6

yes plz

Answer 7

@Jadeishere

Answer 8

In the first sentence, it seems as though a 'young-writer' is writing, which is not what you want.
"A star is born when clouds of dust and elements are gathered together in a certain space due to gravity, more and more mass and therefore pressure builds."
Can be changed to sound more professional.
Instead of saying 'born' we can use words such as;
derived from, made of, came to be, etc.
"more and more" - completely unnecessary. A simple "the collision of particles in space gather mass" or something of the sort.