Question

Can anyone help me review my essay
(There is some I am already aware needs to be fixed and its marked)

Answer 1

Chasing your dreams will cause challenges that you have to get through and it will very likely, not be easy, but you are going to have to be optimistic about the situation. What you believe in will directly influence how well you succeed and where you're going in the world. Being an optimist is not about being happy all the time, it's about believing the situation will be better or that you can use this as a learning experience. Life can get better, but it all depends on you. The situation (make this sound good) where you can do better and learn from past experiences so you will not make the same mistake again. You can reflect on this, of the first one- or a couple of mistakes as miracle. (Sounds wonky, fix that) A miracle that shows that you have lived, made mistakes and become a better person. Living in the past, being gloomy, and doing nothing to better yourself is sad and is a pessimistic view on life. Yes, a healthy dose of pessimism is good, because you need negative experiences to help to see the light at the end of the tunnel but your life shouldn’t be consumed by it. Instead you live in the light, and have times of darkness but (!!!) would not consume you like a pessimist would. Your dreams can not happen on their own and you have to make decisions every day and determine which you will choose. These decisions do not decide who you are and how you can act upon it. ( change the it to something)
Optimism is often described as having a positive attitude and finding the best of a situation, no matter what it is. Which means finding something positive in a time of hardship, when it seems like a far off image. An optimist has a positive aspect on life, which is important because life will have difficulties that you will need to face. It is a personality trait that is beneficial for you to acquire because it often shows commitment and dedication to a given task or person.
Being confident is important and helps build on the optimistic viewpoint. Being aware of yourself as well as understanding your boundaries, lets you not become saddened at yourself because it is already expected. Knowing what you are okay with is a huge step in development within yourself and with having enough confidence to not get your hopes up. I believe that optimism is not a trait in which can be learned- not all the way, I suppose- but it can be believed to be evolutioned in the way you were raised and brought up to be. A person with a high confidence level and is considered an optimist is likely very successful and hardworking in the way of, if something doesn't go quite right, they try, and try again until it is the way it's supposed to be.
A common phrase to differentiate between an optimist and pessimist. Consider a glass "half full" or "half empty" Which shows if you consider a glass half full is showing that you can see past the missing water and be appreciative of the half that is left, rather than if one considers the glass " half empty" showing that you are seeing what is missing than the whole picture. It can fluctuate during your lifetime and change depending on your behavior or attitude towards life, or a specific task. The task might change and so might your perspective. One person can not have every moment of their life in the optimists’ light and they will have times or self-reflection, but after this realization, that the world is corrupt and is full of criminals, villains and all around bad people, you can decide if you want to continue life with this mind set, or you could decide that you are going to be one of the people that help build it back up. To be the ones who do good in society and slowly but surely make the world a happier place. Even if they help a small number of people they could have an optimist view and believe that they would pay it forward. It is a challenge to believe in this way and to have a level head rather than a disruptive one. A challenge might be what is needed to always push this idea, and make it a reality instead of a dream.

Answer 2

It wouldn't hurt to add some... transition words to the beginning of each paragraph.