Question

HELP PLEASE :)

Answer 1

You will revise one body paragraph from your informational article. Then you will write a reflection on the changes you have made. You will submit the original paragraph, the revised paragraph, and the reflection paragraph.

Review your informational article. Choose one body paragraph to revise. Copy this paragraph into a new document.
Combine two or more sentences in your paragraph for varied syntax.
Review your paragraph for any use of passive voice. Revise those sentences.
Write a short reflection paragraph on the revision process. Describe the changes you made and how these changes improved your writing.

Answer 2

Moved to English.

Answer 3

@theDeviliscoming @astral

Answer 4

Do you have the paragraph?

Answer 5

yes...you want me to post just the one body paragraph or the whole thing (intro, 3 body, and conclusion) and u pick which one u want to revise?

Answer 6

Whatever one you are least confident in is the one I'll help revise

Answer 7

ok

Answer 8

Other video game developers wanted to use these video games as a way to transmit education to it’s users. Many schools use these educational video games to teach students to learn mathematics, reading, languages, science, etc.. Even the U.S. military uses video games to help troops more efficiently train for combat, they also use it as therapy for troops that have come back with psychological problems from combat.

Answer 9

dont forget to read the instructions i posted above^^ :)

Answer 10

Ok so I think i might need the others as well

Answer 11

which ones? the other 2 body paragraphs? to compare and see what not to use over again?

Answer 12

Yeah

Answer 13

And please post them in the same format as you are presenting them

Answer 14

ok....After Mr. Higinbotham invented his videogame many others started trying to invent their own video games. After years of many video game developing, video games started going into the consumer business. Thousands of video games were being used at locations called “Arcades” that allowed mainly kids/teens to play them for a certain amount of money. The popularity grew so big that video game developers decided to design video game consoles, which allowed homes to have video games.

Other video game developers wanted to use these video games as a way to transmit education to it’s users. Many schools use these educational video games to teach students to learn mathematics, reading, languages, science, etc.. Even the U.S. military uses video games to help troops more efficiently train for combat, they also use it as therapy for troops that have come back with psychological problems from combat.

The question asked by many around the world is “If video games are healthy?”. This question is very hard to to answer and has sparked an argument between two separate groups that both carry facts. Many say that videogames are great for your brain & hands communication, while others say it harms your eyes. There are many pros and cons concerning video games, but they both are correct.

Answer 15

@theDeviliscoming hey.. so whatcha got?

Answer 16

So in the first sentence of the second paragraph maybe instead of using it's you could use the word their

Answer 17

And then in the next sentence take out "to learn" as it is redundant

Answer 18

And in the last sentence of that paragraph instead of "they also use it" maybe use: they are also used as

Answer 19

But that is all I can think of for you to revise

Answer 20

ok thxx

Answer 21

Np lol