Question

HELP PLEASEEE

Answer 1

so basically i need someone to revise and edit my informational article..

Answer 2

@Elsa213 hey you never helped me lol

Answer 3

i just need ur help fixing a few things in my informational article please :)

Answer 4

I saw Vocaloid helping so I left. o:
Sorry. <.<
I can try. o:

Answer 5

okie dokie!

Answer 6

so... let me post my article, give me a minute.

Answer 7

oki. c:

Answer 8

Did you know the first video game “Tennis For Two” was invented by William A. Higinbotham as a visitor's display for his laboratory? The revolution of video games have rapidly increased over the years. Although some view it as unhealthy, other would disagree with such statements and say it is a great exercise for the mind. Whichever is right, we can all agree on one thing; that videogames have taken a huge leap into advancement & the tech used to make it all happen could only work with the genius minds of the engineers and programmers that worked on it.
Additionally, The games we play are stored in a small chip, Called a Microprocessor. This Chip is very important to the way to game runs it controls what is shown on the screen and the sound that it will make.This chip can only work if there is Compacted Discs(CD’s) or Digital Video Discs (DVD) which are usually controlled by joysticks, Control pads, and buttons/lever. Without these things, the most common entertainment we use today will never be this advanced. It was just the thoughts and efforts of those men that created what we have today.
Next, other video game developers use these video games as a way to transmit education to its users. Many schools use educational video games to teach students to learn subjects like mathematics, reading, languages, and science. Even the U.S. military uses video games to help troops more efficiently train for combat, and they also use them as therapy for troops that have come back with psychological problems from combat. So we see that video games go beyond your Tv in your living room and it is even used for psychology purposes. Even to the extent that People from the army that came back from combat helps them to recover from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Third, Many computer games grew out of university and industrial computer laboratories, often as technology demonstrations or after-hours amusements of computer programmers and engineers. In 1962 computer programmers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) created Spacewar!, which began as a demonstration program to show off MIT’s huge PDP-1 minicomputer. Spacewar! spread to other campuses and laboratories as PDPs became more common. So we see that most games came out of universities where countless hours and effort was put into these games whether they were good or not. Thanks to their efforts we are able to play the games we do today.

Answer 9

again, like i said in the previous post.. i just need help with the body, the intro is good.

Answer 10

let me post the revisions that need to be made and feedback my teacher gave me

Answer 11

Seems like computer class. e.e

Answer 12

questioncove.com/study#/updates/5972387d390f8c8e1dc07e00

Answer 13

yes i did make the changes.... give me one second

Answer 14

hey guys, whats a better transition word than next?

Answer 15

@Vocaloid @Elsa213

Answer 16

Furthermore, Moreover, in addition...

Answer 17

okie awesome... let me see if i have anymore questions..

Answer 18

Please post your essay with the changes I suggested.

Answer 19

ok i will give me one second... let me gather everything and i will post it

Answer 20

hold on, @Vocaloid I'm confused for the first body paragraph

Answer 21

this is the original:
Additionally, The games we play are stored in a small chip, Called a Microprocessor. This
Chip is very important to the way to game runs it controls what is shown on the screen and the sound that it will make.This chip can only work if there is Compacted Discs(CD’s) or Digital Video Discs (DVD) which are usually controlled by joysticks, Control pads, and buttons/lever. Without these things, the most common entertainment we use today will never be this advanced. It was just the thoughts and efforts of those men that created what we have today.

Answer 22

please tell me what you don't understand.

Answer 23

oh that makes more sense for some reason^^ lol

Answer 24

more organized hehe

Answer 25

please type the new paragraph with the suggested changes.

Answer 26

ok

Answer 27

ok i think this is it:

Additionally, the games we play are stored in a small chip, called a microprocessor. This
chip is very important to the way to game runs. It controls what is shown on the screen and the sound that it will make.This chip can only work if there are Compacted Discs(CD’s) or Digital Video Discs (DVD) which are usually controlled by joysticks, control pads, and buttons or levers. Without these things, the most common entertainment we use today would have never been this advanced. It was just the thoughts and efforts of those men that created what we have today.

Answer 28

please edit the last sentence according to the changes I suggested.

Answer 29

notice how the words "just" and "thoughts and" are crossed out.

Answer 30

Additionally, the games we play are stored in a small chip, called a microprocessor. This
chip is very important to the way to game runs. It controls what is shown on the screen and the sound that it will make.This chip can only work if there are Compacted Discs(CD’s) or Digital Video Discs (DVD) which are usually controlled by joysticks, control pads, and buttons or levers. Without these things, the most common entertainment we use today would have never been this advanced. It was the efforts of those men that created what we have today.

Answer 31

great.

Answer 32

so thats for the first one...

Answer 33

now do the same thing with all the paragraphs, according to the changes I made.

Answer 34

ok.... and the subheadings go like this:

"Technological Advances in Video Game Processing and Storage"
Additionally, the games we play are stored in a small chip, called a microprocessor. This
chip is very important to the way to game runs. It controls what is shown on the screen and the sound that it will make.This chip can only work if there are Compacted Discs(CD’s) or Digital Video Discs (DVD) which are usually controlled by joysticks, control pads, and buttons or levers. Without these things, the most common entertainment we use today would have never been this advanced. It was the efforts of those men that created what we have today.

Answer 35

i know it was just an example

Answer 36

lol im not... but do i add the quotation marks for each subheading or not?

Answer 37

no, it should be bolded

Answer 38

ok

Answer 39

^ if you look up I posted the edits for the second paragraph. please make the suggested changes.

Answer 40

ok give me one second.

Answer 41

Furthermore, other video game developers use these video games as a way to educate to its users. Many schools use educational video games to teach students subjects like mathematics, reading, languages, and science. Even the U.S. military uses video games to help troops more efficiently train for combat, and use them as therapy for troops that have come back with psychological problems from combat. Therefore, video games go beyond your Tv in your living room and they are even used for psychology purposes.

Answer 42

let me make a few more edits

Answer 43

yes, of course! go ahead :)

Answer 44

ok..

Furthermore, other video game developers use these video games as a way to educate to their users. Many schools use educational video games to teach students subjects like mathematics, reading, languages, and science. Even the U.S. military uses video games to help troops train more efficiently for combat, and as therapy for troops that have come back with psychological problems from combat. Therefore, video games go beyond your Tv in your living room and they are even used for psychology purposes.

Answer 45

great

Answer 46

lol it gets shorter and shorter...

Answer 47

that's a good thing, there's no point in having extra words if they don't add anything important

Answer 48

thats true i guess

Answer 49

there's not a lot to do for the third paragraph

Answer 50

ok i guess thats good

Answer 51

if your article is too short for the word requirement you need to add some more research

Answer 52

i don't like third as a transition word...

Answer 53

oh right I meant to change that

Answer 54

yea i still have to add the evidence to my support in the 2nd and 3rd body :/

Answer 55

good luck ~

Answer 56

maybe lastly? or no since thats not a conclusion

Answer 57

hm, you already used additionally and furthermore, let me think...

Answer 58

in addition?

Answer 59

I guess so

Answer 60

okie

Answer 61

does there need to be a subheading for the intro? no right?

Answer 62

no, I don't think so

Answer 63

I've never written a paper with subheadings so it would be best to ask your teacher

Answer 64

ok..

Answer 65

@Elsa213 did u read my message?