Question

The struggle of immigration taken place in Greece. This novel will relate to Enrique's Journey as it deals with people getting deported, arrested, and also being put in an asylum. This novel will also deal with children being separated from their families. This is where Mr. Obama comes and tries to reunite with their family. With this, it can change a lot of people's point of views and the way they look at the immigrants.

A. Taking place in Greece, the immigrants would be arrested or put in asylum. There were 132, 524 people who were arrested or put in an asylum for "illegal entry or stay". Subsequently, this was a huge increase from 95,239 immigrants that occurred in 2006. It is said that about half or the immigrants that were arrested had to be deported immediately. This is because they were becoming a majority of Albanians. As for the immigrants that's not deported had to either signed up to be put in an asylum or were provided a decision where they can self deport themselves within one month, meaning that they would be unauthorized to stay in the country.

A. There were young Adults who were involved in the movement. With this, they created a name for themselves called "Dreamers". With Mr. Obama being in charge, the organizers were able to raise funds for parent in order for them to purchase airplane tickets for two months so they can reunite with their kids. As a result, it lead to illegal immigrates being able to reunite with their families. There was also a bill that was created known as "The Senate Bill" offering benefits for young immigrants like those in Nogales, but not for their parents. With the Senate Bill, it involves a form of the Dream Act where it allows the young immigrants to take their name which would give them an accelerated five year alley to American Citizen.

Answer 1

Being that there's a program known as the "The Diversity Visa Program" it was created by the Immigration Act of 1990 which was known as a dedicated channel for immigrants that are from countries within low prices of immigration into the U.S. As for this, it is said that within each year, 55,000 Visas are assigned randomly to nationals from different types of countries that transported less than 55,000 immigrants to the U.S within the previous 5 years. For instance, out of the 55,000 immigrants, about 5,000 are open to the public for use that's under the NACAR program. Therefore, resulting in a decrease of the actual annual limit of immigrants towards 50,000. Even though it intended to approve immigration from Ireland, the Diversity Visa Program develop into one of the only avenues for people who are from certain types of regions in the world in order to secure a green card.

Answer 2

In conclusion, children like Enrique go through a hard struggle as they travel long distances from different countries in order for them to reunite with their families. With this, it illustrates a lot about immigration along with the obstacles they had to experience in order for them to get into the U.S. There are immigrants today that are still trying to enter the United States, going on what seems like an endless they Journey while searching for their parents. To conclude, we see all different types of people who came from other countries in today's world don't really know where they come from or what it took for them to enter in the U.S.

Answer 3

@Vocaloid Hey love can you check/help me out please if ya have time :)

Answer 4

@Ultrilliam Can you move this to English I'm an idiot lol

Answer 5

JFC... moved to english x'D

Answer 6

LOL x,d It's a lot.

Answer 7

@Bearclaws72

Answer 8

@Hero

Answer 9

The struggle of immigration taken place in Greece. This novel will relate to Enrique's Journey as it deals with people getting deported, arrested, and also being put in an asylum. This novel will also deal with children being separated from their families. This is where Mr. Obama comes and tries to reunite with their family. With this, it can change a lot of people's point of views and the way they look at the immigrants.

So the first sentence is a fragment; you might want to chance "taken place" to "takes place" or "took place?" Usually you also want to mention the name and author of the novel in the paragraph, and then you can refer to the novel by its author name. For example, ______ by ______ is a novel that tells the story of Enrique's journey, etc. and then you can mention the author's name as a shortcut for the rest of the essay. "____ novel name here ____" deals with children being separated from their families.

Answer 10

This is where Mr. Obama comes and tries to reunite with their family. With this, it can change a lot of people's point of views and the way they look at the immigrants.

"This" is unclear. Perhaps you should say "in ______ novel name ____ Mr. Obama... etc. The novel can change a lot of people's...etc."

Answer 11

Taking place in Greece, the immigrants would be arrested or put in asylum. There were 132, 524 people who were arrested or put in an asylum for "illegal entry or stay". Subsequently, this was a huge increase from 95,239 immigrants that occurred in 2006. It is said that about half or(change to "of") the immigrants that were arrested had to be deported immediately. This is because they were becoming a majority of Albanians. As for the immigrants that's not (change to" were not")deported had to either signed up to be put in an asylum or were provided a decision where they can(change to "could") self deport themselves within one month, meaning that they would be unauthorized to stay in the country.

"Taking place in Greece" is a dangling participle since "taking place" refers to the novel, not the immigrants. Perhaps "According to the events of the novel, immigrants in Greece would be ....etc."

Answer 12

A. There were young Adults who were involved in the movement. With this ("with this" can be taken out, it doesn't add any meaning), they created a name for themselves called (you can take "called" out and replace with a colon) "Dreamers". With Mr. Obama being in charge, the organizers were able to raise funds for parent in order for them to purchase airplane tickets for two months so they can(change to "could") reunite with their kids. As a result, it lead (should be led) to illegal immigrates being able to reunite with their families. There was also a bill that was created known as "The Senate Bill," offering benefits for young immigrants like those in Nogales, but not for their parents. With (you can remove "with") the Senate Bill, it involves (should be involved) a form of the Dream Act where it allows the young immigrants to take their name which would give them an accelerated five year alley to American Citizen. (should be "American citizenship")

Answer 13

Okie :D I will have to make sure everythings good such as grammar,traistions,etc

Answer 14

Yeah, I think the core material is there, but there are some redundant phrases and transitions that don't quite make sense to me ("with this" is kind of weird and creates grammatical errors)

Answer 15

Ah okie ^_^ I Will change that

Answer 16

Furthermore, Consequently, In addition, as a result, might be better choices

Answer 17

I still liked the essay though

Answer 18

Okie and I'm happy ya like it :D!!

Answer 19

Oh one last thing, the tenses need to be consistent (sometimes you switch from past tense to present tense)

Answer 20

Will do :D

Answer 21

Usually I use present tense for novels but since this is historical I might stick with past tense (use your best judgment though, there are grammatical situations that call for a change in tense)

Answer 22

Feel free to send me your finished product sometime (weekends are good for me)

Answer 23

Will do! Thank ya maam!

Answer 24

My english teacher called me and he told me somethings to do like 1: Don't capitalized Enriques Journey
2: Don't talk that much about the Senate Bill
3: Don't capitalize young adults
5: Focus on writing techniques
6: Be more formal in the way you're communicating image if you're talking to the audience

Answer 25

@Vocaloid

Answer 26

ok

Answer 27

what he wrote sounds like good suggestions

Answer 28

Yes maams I dont know how to fix them :/

Answer 29

1: Don't capitalized Enriques Journey
2: Don't talk that much about the Senate Bill
3: Don't capitalize young adults
5: Focus on writing techniques
6: Be more formal in the way you're communicating image if you're talking to the audience


1 is an easy fix. unless "Enrique's Journey" is a book title, then it should be Enrique's journey (novel titles need to be italicized)
2. you can remove some of the details about the Senate Bill (some of the details between paragraphs 2-3 can be removed)
3. easy fix, just lowercase "young adults"
4. why is there no #4
5 and 6 are a bit tricky, this might depend on exactly what your teacher is asking for

Answer 30

He wants me to pretend like I'm talking to him

Answer 31

Hm

It's hard to explain the difference between "formal" and "informal" writing, perhaps you could find some essays written at the university level to get an idea of what "formal" writing looks like?

Answer 32

http://www.monash.edu.au/lls/llonline/writing/general/essay/sample-essay/index.xml

Answer 33

I think the key differences are: use of active voice rather than passive voice, advanced vocabulary, sparing use of transitions (and when transitions are used, they always serve a purpose)

Answer 34

Yes that :0