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AnimeGhoul8863:
The Secret Episode 1 Episode 2
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AnimeGhoul8863:
what do you think shadow its my first draft but thats all from my head
AnimeGhoul8863:
i typed as i thought of the stuff
Shadow:
There are some grammatical and spelling errors. Though my major criticism would be the lack of figurative language and imagery. The truth is, you're telling an endearing story. The current form carries you along at a hurried pace, and whilst it is still nice, figurative language and imagery slow things down. It builds a world up and envelopes the reader in a wealth of detail. That is what you should aim for in your future drafts :)
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