Question

Humeth'rous questions, answ'rs and st'ries retold prop'rly spell'd and punctuat'd c'rrectly

Answer 1

Q: what is black, white, and r'd all ov'r?
A: a sunburnt penguin!

Answer 2

Thee wouldst bethink yond taking off a snail's shell wouldst maketh t moveth festinate'r, but t actually just maketh t m're sluggish

Answer 3

Q: what didst the elephant wanteth f'r his birthday?

A: a trunk full of gifts

Answer 4

Age is a relative thing.

all mine own relatives keepeth reminding me how old i am

Answer 5

Medal for recycling content like a Reddit pro

Answer 6

@Vocaloid ;p

Answer 7

I did invite mine own boyfriend to wend to the gym with me, but that gent stoodeth me up. I guesseth the two of us aren't going to w'rk out

Answer 8

You know mods can see deleted replies, right?

Answer 9

Oof

Answer 10

*intro to cops starts playing*

Answer 11

I stubb'd mine own toe i didst. I wast in teen. All the OD'rs holp me up bef're i couldst coequal shout "Oof"!

Answer 12

If 't be true our dram moon 'rbits the gigantic earth, doest yond cullionly the sun 'rbits thee?

Answer 13

I’m so comfused

Answer 14

I wast teaching mine own 3-year-old granddaught'r, tayl'r, how to shooteth baskets on h'r child-siz'd basketball hoop. Aft'r missing three shots in a row, the lady gaveth me the ball and hath said, “grandma, this thing doesn’t w'rk!”

Answer 15

Q: wherefore didst the bacon-fed turkey crosseth the road? A: to receiveth hitteth by mine own h'rse!

Answer 16

Jeb you scared the Bear away xD

Answer 17

You need to write an ode of apology, to the Bear who only wanted to understand thee

Answer 18

@BearClaws72 I am so v'ry s'rry f'r speaking prop'r english. I didst not knoweth i am m're intellectually c'rrect ov'r thee. I shall tryeth and keepeth t easy f'r thy simple mind