Question

This song is a love song (even though I have no experience with love). Also name isn't decided on yet. Feedback kindly accepted. ^.^ <3

It's called:

I Want/Butterflies

Answer 1

I want to kiss you under a street lamp,
with the rain pouring over our heads.
I want to soak up the sun with you,
while laying in the sand.
I want to look at you,
never wanting it to end.
I want to hold onto you forever,
until my last breath.

Stomach pains that won't go away,
the sight of you makes me insane.

Butterflies in my head,
while lying next to you.
I look into your eyes,
all I see is truth.
I don't deserve your love,
the way you say I do.
But nothing else matters,
all I want is you.

I want to take pictures with you,
write our names in the sand.
I want to climb mountains with you,
climbing hand and hand.
I want to exchange I love yous ,
over again and again.
I want to hold onto you forever,
until my last breath.

Stomach pains that won't go away,
the sight of you makes me insane.

Butterflies in my head,
while lying next to you.
I look into you eyes,
all I see is truth.
I don't deserve your love,
the way you say I do.
But nothing else matters,
all that counts is you.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Answer 2

Awwww this is sweet <3. I love it.

Answer 3

Thank you! <3

Answer 4

You're welcome love, I suggest you keep going ^~^ <3

Answer 5

Woah that's good

Answer 6

Thank you. I have 2 other songs that are completed but they are a little bit darker. XD

Answer 7

Okai. I'm going to post my other songs too.

Answer 8

YAY

Answer 9

This is called:

This Song/Shout-out (name undecided)

The said she was nothing,
not even worth the time.
The said she was worthless,
that she would never shine.
The say things like this,
to get inside our heads.
To destroy all the dreams,
to leave us all for dead.

Sometimes things are better in it heads.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Shout out to the ones who fight to stay alive.
Shout out to the ones who have killed their insides.
Shout out to the ones who are so holding on.
Shout out to the ones who have lost their minds.

What is faith when you can't see straight?
What is straight when you don't have faith?

The said she was insane,
to put a bullet though her brain.
The told her to get out the way,
to stay in her own lane.
They say things like this,
to get inside your head.
To destroy all the dreams,
to leave us all for death.

Sometimes things are better in it heads.
Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Shout out to the ones who fight to stay alive.
Shout out to the ones who have killed their insides.
Shout out to the ones who are so holding on.
Shout out to the ones who have lost their minds.

This song's for the broken.
This song's for the weak.
This song's for the people,
who hide behind their sleeves.
This song's for the forgotten.
The ones who don't believe.
The ones want to give up on life,
to never ever breath.

Answer 10

This song I finished writing when I was 11. (Eleven. ;3)

Not Controlled

I'm tired of people trying to control me,
they're not who I want to be.
They look at me and say I'm nobody,
its hard to agree because I know I'm somebody.

I don't want to be like anybody else .
I want to be me, just myself.
I don't want to be the same.
That's not how I play the game.

I used to hang my head in shame.
But now I don't care what they say.
They don't control my life.
They don't get a say without a fight.

I don't want to be like anybody else.
I want to be me, just myself.
I don't want to be the same.
That's not how I play the game.

I don't want to be like anybody else.
I want to be me, just myself.
I don't want to be the same.
That's not how I play the game.

*spoken/soft acoustics*
They try to tie us down.
But we're not going to stay.
Knock them off.
Climb to the top.
Don't give up.
This is not the end.

I love you. <3

Answer 11

Both are good

Answer 12

For supposedly lacking experience with love, you have a good characterization of it (through observation I assume). There were some grammatical errors that disrupted the flow (the -> they) but overall I enjoyed the read. Keep up the writing, it will take you places.

Answer 13

i agree with shadow this is good!

Answer 14

these are yours wow

Answer 15

nice

Answer 16

i know this is a tad bit late but good job!! I love your style of writing songs and if it's possible i would like to learn from you on song writing!! ^-^

Answer 17

nice

Answer 18

I looooove it!! I would love to hear the lyrics put to music!

Answer 19

nice

Answer 20

it cool

Answer 21

cool my fav song is called miss you by corpse

Answer 22

really nice