Question

I made this for a assignment for English is the punctuation and word placement correct

Answer 1

College Athletes deserve more. I say this because College athletes don’t get paid when they play the sport. I know some people would say no and disagree because they get scholar ships but I think they should. These students bring money to the colleges but get nothing in return. College athletes need to be ensured that they will get some sort of payment for what they do for the team. For what College athletes do for their team and community they should be paid.
The schools can’t afford to pay athletes. I say this because colleges most likely use the money to upgrade their school to make a better environment for there students so paying the athletes wouldn’t be in there minds. Although “in 2015 a high school added a new 11,000 sq ft screen in the stadium that was so bright it could be seen from 30 meters away but this screen cost 13.9 million dollars.” if and When the schools do that they can’t afford to pay athletes. Another reason they don’t need to get paid is because they get scholar ships and not only scholar ships But most of those players have a big chance of becoming famous and end up rich in the end. Those scholar ships allow them to go to school for free while Other kids have to pay thousands of dollars to pay off their college. While college athletes don’t have to so I think that should be enough payment for them.
I agree that college athletes get scholar ships and shouldn’t get paid because of that. However I disagree with the point that they can’t afford it. If the school stopped buying extravagant pointless things they would be able to afford to give the athletes some sort of payment as in a thanks for helping the team. they make many achievements and deserve a reword for them. Another reason I think they should get paid is they practice and train 43 hours a week for there team and that’s 3 hours more than an average work day for a person. In addition if people work around 40 hours a week and they get paid the athletes should get the same because they work 3 hours more then they do. Some people like me finally realized that college athletes should get paid and I think we need to let more people know to help them out.
In conclusion College athlete need to be paid some sort of payment for the work they put in for their college and team. This is very important because normal college students can find a job during college because they have free time. But it’s the opposite for a athlete they do there school go to practice and then to home to go to bed there sport equals a job to them. It would be extremely hard to do college work, practice, and a job. So please get the word out and help our fellow athletes.

Answer 2

O O F

Answer 3

@Elsa213 @umm

Answer 4

I'll read it after mai quiz

Answer 5

Give me a second..I'm on the phone rn.

Answer 6

ok np

Answer 7

Love how no one around me can tell how close I am to a mental breakdown.. it's great.

Answer 8

@AnimeGhoul8863 Ready for me to start making corrections?

Answer 9

no but when will i be x'D

Answer 10

Hmm, would you like me to just copy and paste it with the corrections or just tell them to you?

Answer 11

what ever is easier for u if u want to copy and paste bc its easier then go ahead ur choice

Answer 12

You put "scholar ships" "scholarships" if the correct term.

Answer 13

You're going to want to indent at the beginning of each paragraph, you can do this easily by hitting the "tab" bar, or hit the space bar 5 times.

Answer 14

"I say this because colleges most likely use the money to upgrade their school to make a better environment for there students so paying the athletes wouldn’t be in there minds."
In this sentence I would use the word "advance" rather than upgrade.

Answer 15

Also in that sentence replace "there" with "their" and put a "," after students.

Answer 16

Instead of "most likely" use "more prone".

Answer 17

The sentence should look like this after your done.

Answer 18

College athletes deserve more. I say this because college athletes don’t get paid when they play the sport. I know some people would say no and disagree because they get scholarships, but I think they should. These students bring money to the colleges, but get nothing in return. College athletes need to be ensured that they will get some sort of payment for what they do for the team. For, what college athletes do for their team and community they should be paid. The schools can’t afford to pay athletes. I say this because colleges most likely use the money to upgrade their school to make a better environment for their students, so paying the athletes wouldn’t be in their minds. Although, “in 2015 a high school added a new 11,000 sq ft screen in the stadium that was so bright it could be seen from 30 meters away but this screen cost 13.9 million dollars.” If, and when the schools do that they can’t afford to pay athletes. Another reason they don’t need to get paid is because they get scholarships and not only scholarships, but most of those players have a big chance of becoming famous and ending up rich in the end; but it is the beginning for them. Those scholarships allow them to go to school for free, while other kids have to pay thousands of dollars to pay off their college. While, college athletes don’t have to so I think that should be enough payment for them. I agree that college athletes get scholarships and shouldn’t get paid because of that. However, I disagree with the point that they can’t afford it; if the school stopped buying extravagant pointless things they could afford to give the athletes some sort of, payment as in a thanks for helping the team. They make many achievements and deserve a reward for them. Another reason I think they should get paid, is they practice and train 43 hours a week for their team; and that’s 3 hours more than an average work day for a person. In addition, if people work around 40 hours a week, and they get paid the athletes should get the same because they work 3 hours more than they do. Some people like me finally realized that college athletes should get paid, and I think we need to let more people know to help them out. In conclusion, college athletes need to be paid some payment for the work they put in for their college and team. This is vaulable because normal college students can find a job during college because they have free time. But it’s the opposite for an athlete they do there school go to practice and than to home to go to bed there sport equals a job to them. It would be extremely hard to do college work, practice, and a job. So please get the word out and help our fellow athletes.

Answer 19

Correction.. ^^

Answer 20

"I say this because colleges are more prone to use the money to upgrade their schools to make a better environment for their students, so paying the athletes wouldn’t be in their minds."

Answer 21

One issue real quick Umm

Answer 22

Hm?

Answer 23

There is only one paragraph.

Answer 24

I know.
I'll delete..

Answer 25

lol thx guys so umm it that full thing my argument with all the correct everything

Answer 26

Don't worry about it, I like your corrections, some words could be traded out for synonyms to make it stand out more, but just add paragraphs and you're golden @umm. I only have 20 minutes anyway and don't think I'd be able to finish, I'd be to critical over things, I write and read to many books.

Answer 27

True, also. same...even though it's *too e.e

Answer 28

Shh.

Answer 29

e.e *shushes*