Question

Help with rewriting this

Answer 1

Edit and revise an existing procedural document. You must ensure that the finished document is well organized and written clearly. You must also edit mistakes in grammar and punctuation and ensure that the layout is appealing and helpful for readers.
Your assignment should include the following elements:

-Text that is free of common mistakes in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation
-Text that is well organized, clear, engaging, and convincing
-Page elements, such as white space, visuals, and headings, that enhance the reader's experience

Answer 2

any ideas on paragraph 1? the only obvious error that I can see is that the colon needs to be a comma, and that 1 needs to be superscripted

Answer 3

Hold on, im checking with my teacher if the worm thing is the doc im supposed to be using or another one.

Answer 4

I emailed her, when she responds we can continue

Answer 5

Im back

Answer 6

so it needs to be a document that I find

Answer 7

do you have any advice on a procedural doc I can use for this assignment:



Edit and revise an existing procedural document. You must ensure that the finished document is well organized and written clearly. You must also edit mistakes in grammar and punctuation and ensure that the layout is appealing and helpful for readers.
Your assignment should include the following elements:

-Text that is free of common mistakes in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation
-Text that is well organized, clear, engaging, and convincing
-Page elements, such as white space, visuals, and headings, that enhance the reader's experience

Answer 8

uh

well a procedural document is just a document that tells you how to do something

maybe you could take a hobby that you like, (let's use gardening as an example) and find an article like "how to start a vegetable garden" or something

Answer 9

https://www.almanac.com/vegetable-gardening-for-beginners

Answer 10

Like this

Answer 11

sure

Answer 12

Okay So I just basically write it in my own words?

Answer 13

sort of, the key is to make improvements and re-organize the text based on its current flaws/weaknesses

Answer 14

okay so here is the beginning of the doc:

Whether you’re a beginner with a single pot or an old hand planting an entire plot, our Vegetable Gardening Guide will help you to plan and grow your tastiest vegetables ever.

Answer 15

So to rewrite this how about:

No matter what your experience is with planting, this Vegetable Gardening Guide will assist you in the full harvest of your vegetables

Answer 16

good

I was thinking, this isn't a bad way to introduce the document, but perhaps we could move some of the information in the "why garden" section to the top to help give some brief info about gardening and why people should read the article/become interested in gardening

Answer 17

I also noticed that the first header is "Vegetable Gardening for Beginners" which is kind of redundant since the title of the article is already Vegetable Gardening for Beginners

so the first header could be "Why Garden?"

Answer 18

Great so the Title should be vegetable Gardening for Beginners and then the first bold topic would be WHy Garden

Answer 19

good

so for the paragraph

"Why garden, you ask? If you’ve never tasted garden-fresh vegetables (lots of people haven’t!), you will be amazed by the sweet, juicy flavors and vibrant textures. There’s absolutely nothing quite like fresh veggies, especially if you grow them yourself—which you can!"

this is ok but it can be even stronger/easier to read with a bulleted list. we can also add more information/reasons to garden since they only cover a few things

- garden-grown vegetables have impressive flavors and textures
- it is cost-efficient
- it is satisfying to see and harvest the results of your efforts

Answer 20

Okay so this would be under the Why Garden category right?

Answer 21

you don't have to go in this direction just throwing ideas out there ^^

Answer 22

yes

Answer 23

NO I am def going to it just wouldnt let me reply smh

Answer 24

Before I add the bulleted list I should write something like: Here are some of the many reasons why gardens are beneficial???? :/

Answer 25

sure, that would be a good idea

Answer 26

HOw is that and please do critique if you have to

Answer 27

the colon after beneficial

Answer 28

hm

yes, there needs to be a colon after beneficial

vegetable gardening guide doesn't have to be in caps

there's no comma between why and gardening

the bullet points should be capitalized and punctuated like normal sentences. Also it is kind of weird that one bullet point is a lot shorter than the rest, perhaps change it to something like "Garden-grown vegetables are cheaper than store bought ones." or something

Answer 29

good (I think there's an extra space on the third bullet point, could just be my eyes)

then for the next header we could do something like "topics covered in this article" and then another bullet point list, like
- Choosing the right location
- Choosing the right plant
- Improving the quality of your yield

Answer 30

if you like, you can add a lead-in sentence like "There are many factors that go into the perfect vegetable garden. To help you get started, we will be covering the following topics in this article:

Answer 31

for the bulleted list for this one, would it have punctuation >??

Answer 32

they're not complete sentences, so no

Answer 33

okay thats what I thought

Answer 34

actually i'd put the "picking the right plant" first since that's the first thing you decide in a garden

Answer 35

Okay as the heading or one of the bullet parts

Answer 36

like, we have three bullet points

- Choosing the right location
- Choosing the right plant
- Improving the quality of your yield

I would just switch the first two since picking the plant comes before picking the location

Answer 37

oh okay lol I actually already did that ;)

Answer 38

So now I should talk about picking the right location???

Answer 39

good, now this paragraph we just wrote is basically the "table of contents" of the article so the bullet points can also be the next three haders

so the next header would be "Choosing the right location"

Answer 40

*Choosing the right plant whoops

Answer 41

okay let me do that hold on a sec

Answer 42

okay got it

Answer 43

the pot size right ?

Answer 44

since our section is "choosing the right plant" we would save information about pot size for the last section (how to increase your yield)

Answer 45

as usual we can do a quick lead in sentence or two explaining why its important to choose the right plant (certain plants can only grow in certain environments, to know how much space/water, etc. you need, to choose a vegetable that you will want to eat, etc."

Answer 46

needs to be a semicolon after "space or water the plant needs" because you're starting a new clause

it might be a better idea to use a different transition word instead of repeating also twice, like "furthermore" or something

Answer 47

good, then we can start making a set of steps (use a numbered list, not bulleted points, since we are emphasizing order)

Answer 48

okay

Answer 49

""It would be wise to contact your local Cooperative Extension Service to find out what plants grow best in your area, and when the best time for planting them is. Think about what you like to eat as well as what’s difficult to find in a grocery store or farmers’ market."

from this, we can let step 1 = visit the Cooperative Extension Service for your location to learn more about what plants you can grow and when to grow them" or something

Answer 50

okay should the second be use the garden planner app to draw out a visual of what your garden will look like?

Answer 51

or am I missing something

Answer 52

yeah, that's ok as a second step

Answer 53

OKay im not sure what the third will be :/

Answer 54

hm. maybe "select a few plants from the list of plants available and arrange them in your garden app" or something

Answer 55

how about after the first step put,, after being informed about which plants grow best in your area, study the water and space conditions of those plants?

Answer 56

Ughh idek :/

Answer 57

yeah, that's good too

Answer 58

does that look like its in chronological order

Answer 59

and then the 5th step can be, rule out some plants you want to harvest dependent on growing conditions ?

Answer 60

hm. I'm not really sure that's necessary (step 4 says to pick out plants so by definition the person would automatically be ruling things out)

Answer 61

yeah true lol

Answer 62

maybe something like " get ready to visit your local gardening store for seeds/supplies/whatever"

Answer 63

okay that could be the 5th

now would we be on the second point :

choosing the right location

Answer 64

yeah, come to think of it I kind of want to change that to "setting up your garden" because we have two sections in the original article

"PICK THE RIGHT LOCATION" and "CHOOSING A PLOT SIZE: START SMALL!"

Answer 65

we could take the information from both sections and combine them into one

Answer 66

okay so the heading of the first wuold be setting up your garden

Answer 67

nah the first header is still choosing the right plant, then the second header would be creating your garden or something

Answer 68

idk i'm trying to write a header that captures the idea that we are exiting the planning steps and are now getting into the actual physical processes of the garden

Answer 69

You could do The beginning of it all!

Answer 70

Or Physical Attribution

Answer 71

just throwing things out there :S

Answer 72

or Let's begin

Answer 73

hm. I guess we could get back to it, you can leave "Let's Begin" as a placeholder title

Answer 74

anyway we can start by taking the information from those two sections and combining them into one list

Answer 75

Picking a good location for your garden is absolutely key. A sub-par location can result in sub-par veggies! Here are a few tips for choosing a good site:

Plant in a sunny location. Most vegetables need at least 6 hours of direct sunlight per day. The more sunlight they receive, the greater the harvest, the bigger the veggies, and the better the taste.
Plant in good soil. Plants’ roots penetrate soft soil more easily, so you need nice loamy soil. Enriching your soil with compost provides needed nutrients. Proper drainage will ensure that water neither collects on top nor drains away too quickly.
Plant in a stable environment. You don’t want to plant in a place that’s prone to flooding during heavy rains, or in a place that tends to dry out a lot. You also don’t want to plant somewhere where strong winds could knock over your young plants or keep pollinators from doing their job. Plant in a location that would make Goldilocks proud.

CHOOSING A PLOT SIZE: START SMALL!
Remember: It’s better to be proud of a small garden than be frustrated by a big one!

One of the most common errors that beginners make is planting too much too soon—way more than anybody could ever eat or want! Unless you want to have zucchini taking up residence in your attic, plan your garden with care. Start small.

A good-size beginner vegetable garden is about 16x10 feet and features crops that are easy to grow. A plot this size, based on the vegetables suggested further down this page, can feed a family of four for one summer, with a little leftover for canning and freezing (or giving away to jealous neighbors).

Make your garden 11 rows wide, with each row 10 feet long. The rows should run north and south to take full advantage of the sun.

Vegetables that may yield more than one crop per season include beans, beets, carrots, cabbage, kohlrabi, lettuce, radishes, rutabagas, spinach, and turnips.

(Note: If this garden is too large for your needs, you do not have to plant all 11 rows, or you can simply make the rows shorter.)

Answer 76

so I guess

1. Identify a location in your garden that is sunny, has good soil, and a stable environment suitable for your plant
2. Measure out a small plot. We suggest 16x10 feet as an example, but this can be adjusted based on the size of your property or the type of plant you want to grow
3. Divide your plot into rows and columns, leaving adequate space between each plant. We suggest 11 rows, each 10 feet long, but again, this will vary for your dimensions.

Answer 77

Im gonna change the words because Id ont want to copy paste but im just showing you if the sentence before that is okay

Answer 78

yeah of course

Answer 79

this is very bare-bones so I would suggest incorporating more information from the article

Answer 80

Yeah I will... Im just kinda getting a rough draft done with you. But obviously I will go back and incorportate more ideas and make it more submittable =)

Answer 81

okay let me bring out the other bulletted points and you can take alook at them when I am done

Answer 82

i dont want you to be doing all the work lol

Answer 83

good, then the last header is something like "how to improve yield" right, so we can take the information from the "how to grow the best vegetables" section and re-write/improve/condense it

Answer 84

wait we are done for this header?

Answer 85

Oh right,,, because we already incorportated the plot size part

Answer 86

yeah

so after that section is done, we can try and end the article with something better (the original article basically ends on an advertisement for the garden app which I thought was kind of weird)

Answer 87

Lol okay let me just type up a bulletted list that you can check after =)

Answer 88

okay so

-Be sure that when you plant your seeds, they are spaced out enough. This will ensure that the plants and its roots will have enough room to grow as well as sunlight and water.
-Be sure to get seeds that are well worth it, sometimes cheap seeds will be a waste of money.
-Be sure to sufficiently water your plants as this is the most important thing that will help your plants grow healthy.
-Be sure you are planting your seeds and harvesting at the right time. If the weather is too hot or cold, the plants will end of dying because of the climate conditions.

Answer 89

good

as a minor critique it is a little weird to start off all the sentences with the same thing

Answer 90

Please critique as needed.

Answer 91

okay let me change that, just a min

Answer 92

-When you plant your seeds, they should be spaced out enough. This will ensure that the plants and its roots will have enough room to grow as well as sunlight and water.
-Buy seeds that are well worth it, sometimes cheap seeds will be a waste of money and not give you the results you look forward to.
-Sufficiently water your plants as this is the most important thing that will help your plants grow healthy.
-Be sure you are planting your seeds and harvesting at the right time. If the weather is too hot or cold, the plants will end of dying because of the climate conditions.

Answer 93

awesome

Answer 94

and this would be bulletted right

Answer 95

yes

Answer 96

wait shouldn't I have a sentence for these bullets?

Answer 97

well, not necessarily

Answer 98

Okay just making sure

Answer 99

NOw we are at the conclusion right?

Answer 100

you can if you feel like you need to add something that isn't covered in the bullet points

Answer 101

but yeah, we can move to the conclusion if you're ready

you can have a "conclusion" header, then write about how you hope the reader enjoyed the article, let them know you can contact them with additional questions in the comment section, etc."

Answer 102

good

idk if we should change it from first person singular to first person plural, the original article uses the plural, so I and me would be changed to "we" or "us"

Answer 103

but other than that I think we have a good rough draft so far

Answer 104

Idk is it inconsistent in the rough draft or are you just saying its inconsistent from the actual article

Answer 105

well come to think of it, we used "we" earlier so let's stay consistent

Answer 106

well it is consistent isn't it lol

Answer 107

and another question, it calls for visuals. So just put pictures of fresh vegetables right

Answer 108

yeah I guess

for each of the main headers try to find an image that encapsulates what that section is about (probably don't need one for the conclusion)

Answer 109

if you want to go the extra mile you could even create a banner with the title at the top

Answer 110

How do you do that in google docs :/

Answer 111

uh, well, I was thinking maybe just make an image at the top, something like this

Answer 112

it doesn't have to be complex, you can find a stock photo on the internet and edit some text onto it

Answer 113

it's not really 100% essential I just thought it might be cool ~

Answer 114

lol trying to find a stock photo website

Answer 115

I use pexels.com

Answer 116

oh I would also recommend trying to make the banner long enough to go across the entire page

Answer 117

Oh so nothing like this

Answer 118

nah I think that's fine ^^ just be sure to copy down the source url

Answer 119

like in citations?

Answer 120

yes, for citation purposes

Answer 121

I got the picture but I typed the words myself

Answer 122

I believe you would still need to cite the source image

Answer 123

Okay got that

Answer 124

good, then you can add more images (be sure to keep the sources for citations)

you can also play around with the font styles, sizes, and colors, for ex; you can make the headers different colors + bigger to make them stand out more

Answer 125

Yes I am going to do that. NOw that I have the rough draft, I will definitely revise it to my liking

Answer 126

=)