Question

can someone read over my intro paragraph for a film review (please leave proper feedback)

Answer 1

bruh where is the file

Answer 2

@BenLindquist ill PM u it because I don't want to upload it lol!

Answer 3

Send me the file or the paragraph and I'd be more then happy to help. :)

Answer 4

@Shadow Is also really good at that :)

Answer 5

can you please copy and paste into here

Answer 6

Its hard to look over it on an image

Answer 7

Is there any way for you to paste the actual text?

Answer 8

Post it or send it to me if you’d like me to take a look.

Answer 9

I'm quite confused. Is the first one you sent me yours or is the second one you send me yours? Because they are 2 different images.

Answer 10

1st one

Answer 11

@BenLindquist @Zowie can you guys not post my work here please lol

Answer 12

you had minor mistakes but other then that it looks good to me.

Answer 13

@Shadow uhhh, can you check your messages!

Answer 14

‘surplus employee’ doesnt make sense to me

perhaps: a surplus of employees

Though too many employees would drive down the wages since supply and demand...so not sure how this is a good thing. Unless you meant a surplus of job openings, which is the case for America as a result of capitalism.

Answer 15

Next, you would say: big American corporations

not American big corporation

Answer 16

Also, there is nothing introducing the quote in the last sentence. I have to assume that it was Roger Smith. Also, there is no period for that quote.

Answer 17

It does seem like a summary to me, but that is what a review is supposed to be, to a certain extent. It also adds either a favorable or unfavorable disposition for the piece.

Answer 18

I hope that makes sense.

Answer 19

@Shadow thanks! so how should I make it more of a movie review! I wasn't done talking about the film but thank you so much for the feedback. The quote was from a board worker of GM.

Answer 20

Yeah you need to let the reader know where the quote is coming from.

Answer 21

I don’t do movie reviews which is why I focused more on grammar. I would suggest emulating the style or feel of some movie reviews you find online. Of course from reputable sources and people who actually review movies for a job.