Question

Wrote this for a guy thoughts please?
Loves Old Blues
Loves his mama
Has such a strong accent
That makes me want to panic
Blue eyes
Makes my heart skip
Is that a good thing?
It's scary,
I am so easily drawn
Drawn to guys with long hair, and blue eyes
But he seems different..
Although that's what I said last time...
Last time. Every time
He seems like such a good guy,
But I don't want it to happen again
Either he's glued to an ex
a prettier girl comes along,
i'm not good enough,
or i'm not pretty enough
I’m stuck- stuck in quicksand
His voice is luring me in
Now his eyes are drawing me in
I can’t holler out help
For i’m speechless
His country drawl, it’s so possessing
I’m stuck in Phantom of the Opera
I’m Christine Daae, and he’s the Phantom

Answer 1

It is very nice, except I recommend you make it sound like you aren't desperate.

Answer 2

Are you going to give it to him?

Answer 3

I'm not desperate, trust me that's the last thing I am. I just wrote this just to get it out. And no i'm not going to give it to him

Answer 4

Ah, okay. Then it is very nice and you expressed your feelings in a very direct form. Great job.

Answer 5

Thank you

Answer 6

This is a remarkable piece and I can feel the feelings that you feel through your choice of words good job.

Answer 7

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @mmurra00
This is a remarkable piece and I can feel the feelings that you feel through your choice of words good job.
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thank you

Answer 8

this is really good

Answer 9

niceee i like it!!

Answer 10

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @supie
niceee i like it!!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thxs Supie

Answer 11

np