Question

song, pls criticize.

Wandering alone, the lost boy looks up
into the trees, he sees it.
he sees his dreams.
he sees make believe.
he sees his old family.
A happy girl looked up, into the sun, wondering what could ever go wrong.
she sees trust
she sees make believe
she sees her new family.
In the distance, an ambulance sounds. there sits boy, lost in the sound.
he sees his grief
he sees make believe
he sees where his family used to be.
the girl looks up and sees the boy. she runs to him, full of joy. she asks him if he wanted to play, but the young boy said, not today.
a lost boy looks up, into the trees
he sees his dreams
he sees make believe
he sees his old family.
a happy girl looks up, into the sun, wondering what could ever go wrong.
she sees trust
she sees make believe
she sees her new family.
the happy girl walks up, and sees the boy again. in dirty clothes, without any friends. she asks what wrong, he said he was alone, and then the girl said, not anymore. they played and played and played all day, until the girl tells him
a happy girl looks up, into the sun, wondering what could ever go wrong.
she sees trust
she sees make believe
she sees her new family.
The boy runs away, into the forest, tears falling down, onto the ground. the girl, confused, wonders what she did, other than tell him what her old family did.
a lost boy looks up, into the trees,
he sees his dreams
he sees make believe
he sees his old family.

Answer 1

thats good

Answer 2

there is a story, if you ant i can tell, but its fun to figure it out yourself y'know? if you do want to know, ill post it

Answer 3

meh heck it ill explain it anyways

Answer 4

Nice work, but this seems more like an awesome poem then a song. No hate in any way. It's like a story that has a meaning. But who knows, whatever beat you use can overall change any song however the lyrics lol.

Answer 5

so practically, the boys parents were killed by the girls parents, but the girl never knew they did. her parents were arrested, and she was put in an orphanage, where a happy family adopted her. she had not worries, and was happy. The boy was alone, and he lived on the streets, until he sees that the girl wants to be his friend. they play, until the girl tells him why she didnt have her blood parents, and that they were arrested for shooting the boys parents. the girl didnt know that they were his parents. the boy, suddenly hating the girl, runs into the nearby forest, and stays. the girl then ponders what she did wrong.

Answer 6

THATS THE MEANING YEYEYE

Answer 7

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KjSaif
Nice work, but this seems more like an awesome poem then a song. No hate in any way. It's like a story that has a meaning. But who knows, whatever beat you use can overall change any song however the lyrics lol.
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
thanks!

Answer 8

@dontsaymyname @sxdsouls @Aqual

Answer 9

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @KjSaif
Nice work, but this seems more like an awesome poem then a song. No hate in any way. It's like a story that has a meaning. But who knows, whatever beat you use can overall change any song however the lyrics lol.
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
also, it was meant to be a nice slow song. almost a lullaby

Answer 10

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @Ashley29
thats good
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thanks!

Answer 11

cool song.

Answer 12

I agree with KJ, this is more of a poem of some sorts, rather than a song, but good job, lots of feeling and emotion, Kirby <3

Answer 13

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @Hoodmemes
cool song.
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thank you!

Answer 14

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @dontsaymyname
I agree with KJ, this is more of a poem of some sorts, rather than a song, but good job, lots of feeling and emotion, Kirby <3
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thanks yous!!

Answer 15

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @BestBoiKirby
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @dontsaymyname
I agree with KJ, this is more of a poem of some sorts, rather than a song, but good job, lots of feeling and emotion, Kirby <3
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thanks yous!!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
ofcccc

Answer 16

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @dontsaymyname
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @BestBoiKirby
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @dontsaymyname
I agree with KJ, this is more of a poem of some sorts, rather than a song, but good job, lots of feeling and emotion, Kirby <3
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
Thanks yous!!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
ofcccc
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
like i said, the tune is supposed to be more of a lullaby, and i think i mightve over shot it to the point where it was a poem. thanks!

Answer 17

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @BestBoiKirby
so practically, the boys parents were killed by the girls parents, but the girl never knew they did. her parents were arrested, and she was put in an orphanage, where a happy family adopted her. she had not worries, and was happy. The boy was alone, and he lived on the streets, until he sees that the girl wants to be his friend. they play, until the girl tells him why she didnt have her blood parents, and that they were arrested for shooting the boys parents. the girl didnt know that they were his parents. the boy, suddenly hating the girl, runs into the nearby forest, and stays. the girl then ponders what she did wrong.
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
heres lee meaning of lee song

Answer 18

AMAZING BRUH

Answer 19

LMAO

Answer 20

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @BestBoiKirby
LMAO
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
I HAVE TEARS HELP