Is this a better? @mxddi3

Chapter 1
The beginning
This is a story about two kids that were meant to meet. They will forever change each other’s life. Now I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking this is some sappy love story. Well… yes and no. it depends on what you call love. I say every story and every book is about love. I was asked once what is love. That is the question you should be asking yourself. What is love? What does love mean to you or maybe you want to know what I think love is. You will find out the answer throughout this story.
Now let’s go to the beginning. This story starts out with a fourteen-year-old girl named Mia. She is just a normal kid, if you can call any one normal. I guess you could call her normal in her own way.
“Hi dad!”
“Hi honey, how was your day?” This is my dad Mike. He is pretty cool for a dad. He tries supper hard at everything he does and he would do anything for me. I think that this makes him cool.
Today was the last day of school for the year. I am so glad it is over, I couldn’t wait for this day.
“It was fine. How was yours?”
“Mine was same as always.” That my dads’ way of saying it couldn’t get any better.
My dad is a Preacher. He works at a church close by. The church is nothing fancy, but all the people are nice there. They all were really nice to us when my mom past. I go and see him at work sometimes. At school I hear all the time about how kids’ parents complain about their work. Mike never complains about his job. Growing up I never understood that so one day I asked him why. I asked him why other kids says that their parents are always complaining about their jobs but he never does. He said “because when you are working with God that is when you are having the most fun you will ever have. When I am up on that stage there are no worries. He is there with me I know this because every day I go up there and I know exactly what I am going to say.” My dad loves teaching me about God and I love it when he does.

Question

Is this a better? @mxddi3

Chapter 1
The beginning 
This is a story about two kids that were meant to meet. They will forever change each other’s life. Now I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking this is some sappy love story. Well… yes and no. it depends on what you call love. I say every story and every book is about love. I was asked once what is love. That is the question you should be asking yourself. What is love? What does love mean to you or maybe you want to know what I think love is. You will find out the answer throughout this story.  
Now let’s go to the beginning. This story starts out with a fourteen-year-old girl named Mia. She is just a normal kid, if you can call any one normal. I guess you could call her normal in her own way. 
“Hi dad!” 
“Hi honey, how was your day?” This is my dad Mike. He is pretty cool for a dad. He tries supper hard at everything he does and he would do anything for me. I think that this makes him cool. 
	Today was the last day of school for the year. I am so glad it is over, I couldn’t wait for this day. 
“It was fine. How was yours?” 
“Mine was same as always.” That my dads’ way of saying it couldn’t get any better.
My dad is a Preacher. He works at a church close by. The church is nothing fancy, but all the people are nice there. They all were really nice to us when my mom past. I go and see him at work sometimes. At school I hear all the time about how kids’ parents complain about their work. Mike never complains about his job. Growing up I never understood that so one day I asked him why. I asked him why other kids says that their parents are always complaining about their jobs but he never does. He said “because when you are working with God that is when you are having the most fun you will ever have. When I am up on that stage there are no worries. He is there with me I know this because every day I go up there and I know exactly what I am going to say.” My dad loves teaching me about God and I love it when he does.

Astrid1 · Answer

I may not be her, but I think this is better.

bella345 · Answer

ty^

sxdsouls · Answer

ncie

sxdsouls · Answer

nice* ;/

KjSaif · Answer

thats nice

mxddi3 · Answer

Yes, I can see some improvements. Idk if you want me to point out other areas we can edit again, but overall, it is better, yes. Good job. It's rlly nice. Should I list more improvements? Also, are you going to ever post chapter 2?

bella345 · Answer

$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}$ @mxddi3
Yes, I can see some improvements. Idk if you want me to point out other areas we can edit again, but overall, it is better, yes. Good job. It's rlly nice. Should I list more improvements? Also, are you going to ever post chapter 2?
$\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}$
well i have never posted all of the first chapter

bella345 · Answer

and im still working on the 2nd chapter^

mxddi3 · Answer

hmm, well I think before we just pick apart what you do have, you should write the rest and then we can look at your story as a whole and make improvements that way.

bella345 · Answer

oh ok. so i should finish the whole book and then edit?^

mxddi3 · Answer

Yes. If you want though, we can edit it together whenever you're ready. It doesn't have to be when you are completely finished. We can edit it by the chapter if you wish (:

bella345 · Answer

yes i think chapter by chapter would be better. i want to really thank you for all you help with this! you dont know how much this means to me, thank you soooooooo much!!

mxddi3 · Answer

Of course. You can dm me whenever you need the help. Great job !

bella345 · Answer

ok ty!^