Question

Can someone read over my essay if I post it? It is an argumentative essay over school closures.

Answer 1

Is it a part of a test or a quiz?

Answer 2

no it is an assignment. I can prove it if you want.

Answer 3

No I believe you

Answer 4

Dear Senator Gay Kernan,
I am a student at Hobbs High School, and I am writing to you today about school closures and how it is affecting our learning. School closures have affected students in many different ways, one of the more important ways is that we don’t have the same bond with our teachers as we would have if we were in class. When kids are in Kindergarten they learn discipline and how to act during school, but now with school being closed they never got to learn that, now they are a year behind. Students being at school has many benefits, not only for the parent’s benefit to get them out of the house but more importantly for the students to get the best education possible.
This topic is very important to my family and me because my grandma was a teacher for several years and I have other siblings in my household that are affected by schools being closed. I have a 5-year-old sister that is in kindergarten and she isn’t learning as much as she needs to learn also, she is missing out on so many opportunities that they get in kindergarten. Look at the seniors in High School that have missed out on their last year of high school because of school’s being closed, because of covid-19 even though there has been sickness for hundreds of years before this and we have survived it, but this one shuts everything down?
Without our students in school, they won’t be ready for college because they haven’t learned everything they were supposed to if they were in school. Unesco states, “Schooling provides essential learning and when schools close, children and youth are deprived of opportunities for growth and development.” There are so many benefits of being a school and mainly, routine. Routine has so much to-do with schooling because it keeps everyone in line and when we are not at school we don’t have a routine so kids are making poor grades because they are not going to their classes that have a set time. According to the Social Science Research Center, 65 percent of students are visual learners, which is more than half of the population of students. Now, with school being closed that 65 percent of students are not learning. They are having to read and not be able to see how things are done and are not able to ask as many questions.
While students are doing online school, they are not able to get the best education they can get because they don’t have the usual classroom discipline and interaction with teachers and peers. According to, USA Today, “11,700 students were failing at least one class by mid-October, a 70% jump from that time last year.” Going back to the 65 percent of visual learners, those learners need to be able to talk and ask questions to pass and understand what they are learning. If students don’t go back to school they are not going to succeed in school or more importantly go to college and be expected to know what they were supposed to learn but with online schooling, they didn’t.

Answer 5

@jhonyy9

Answer 6

@Allison

Answer 7

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @simsharrison
@jhonyy9
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)

Answer 8

I would put a semicolon or a period here instead of a comma. It's too weak of a pause for what sounds like two independent clauses (two clear ideas).

"School closures have affected students in many different ways, one of the more important ways is that we don’t have the same bond with our teachers as we would have if we were in class."

Answer 9

Also if you could post this on a Doc and make it accessible by link, I can proofread this much faster.

Answer 10

Google Doc specifically

Answer 11

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fEw7YvEwk69F3tvJ1g4psQfllWXbX8kgYIy2JGO3lh0/edit

Answer 12

Yes it was on google docs

Answer 13

Let: theshadowlegendx@gmail.com edit

Answer 14

It didn't come through.

Answer 15

?

Answer 16

If this is due later today, I can get to it in a bout an hour and a half for a thorough read over. I'm an English major so I can help it improve it a lot. Will also give you time to fix link.

Answer 17

Did you get it?

Answer 18

I did something different, tell me if it works.

Answer 19

Ok its good but there is one thing you can do to make it better.

In the 2nd paragraph, at the 2nd sentence, where you said,

¨I have a 5-year-old sister that is in kindergarten and she isn’t learning as much as she needs to learn also, she is missing out on so many opportunities that they get in kindergarten.¨
At the part when you said 'as much as she needs to learn also'' you need to put a period after learn, and the capitalize the A in also, then make the sentence, "I have a 5-year-old sister that is in kindergarten and she isn’t learning as much as she needs to learn. Also she is missing out on so many opportunities that they get in kindergarten."

That would make your essay much better. Good Luck!!!

Answer 20

\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{Originally Posted by}}\) @AlyssaMcQuare
Ok its good but there is one thing you can do to make it better.

In the 2nd paragraph, at the 2nd sentence, where you said,

¨I have a 5-year-old sister that is in kindergarten and she isn’t learning as much as she needs to learn also, she is missing out on so many opportunities that they get in kindergarten.¨
At the part when you said 'as much as she needs to learn also'' you need to put a period after learning, and the capitalize the A in also, then make the sentence, "I have a 5-year-old sister that is in kindergarten and she isn’t learning as much as she needs to learn. Also she is missing out on so many opportunities that they get in kindergarten."

That would make your essay much better. Good Luck!!!
\(\color{#0cbb34}{\text{End of Quote}}\)
^^ That seems almost okay, but after Also add a comma.

Answer 21

Hey Harrison, it looks like my internet died so I won’t be able to finish going through your paper til later. Sit tight.

Answer 22

Proofreading from phone is no fun lol

Answer 23

Yes sir, thank you for your help.

Answer 24

Wait I think we're good.

Answer 25

I'll hop back on the Doc