Question

i'm writing this for creative writing class and need help on details for the characters actions, to help the reader visualize the scene, like the characters actions and moments in detail/ TWEAKS AND EDITS ARE APPRECIATED

“Well hello Mr. Clay” A voice ran out from behind me, a hand lightly held my shoulder as my English teacher passed by into the room. I turned halfway and stepped out of her range, smiling.
“Oh hi Miss Stretchberry! Funny meeting you here” I greeted, tilting my head as I watched her round a rack of paper and stand at the teacher desk. She grinned and set her bag and lunch down, turning to.
“I’m your sub for today clay” She explained, setting up the contents of her backpack onto the table and opening her laptop.

Answer 1

“Well hello Mr. Clay,” A voice rang out from behind me, a hand lightly held my shoulder as my English teacher passed by into the brightly lit classroom. I turned halfway and stepped out of her range, smiling.
“Oh hi Miss Stretchberry! Funny meeting you here,” I greeted, tilting my head as I watched her round a rack of paper and stand at the teacher's desk. She grinned and set her bag and lunch down, turning to face me.
“I’m your sub for today Clay,” She explained, setting up the contents of her backpack onto the large desk and opening her laptop.

{Notes: At the end of a sentence, if there will be parts afterwards, and it would normally end in a period, you put a comma there. All names- first and last- are capitalized. If you need any help with writing, I'm your guy. You did really good with the detail and such. Don't be afraid to mention the Main Characters thoughts from time to time}

Answer 2

o-o Nice Job, I think theres alot of Movement and action, but maybe more the student?, just more from clay? Like hat is she doing? What is she looking at? But again these are just suggestions, but I think your doing great so far :>

Answer 3

interesting, im a lil scared to see where this is going, seems sus but you wrote it out pretty well