Question

Does anyone want to take a minute or two and skim through my paper to see where I can improve?

Answer 1

sure salt

Answer 2

alr lemme get it

Answer 3

The creation of the telephone has had a revolutionary impact on the future as it has developed to do extraordinary feats of innovation and knowledge. First and foremost, the telephone has allowed for his, her, their, etc. expanded means of communication worldwide. But as it has developed it turned out to improve the quality of life as well.
In March 1876, a man by the name of Alexander Graham Bell made history by submitting his patent of the first telephone ever to be created. The idea of his inventions was to improve upon the telegraphs by transmitting sound through wires. Through his experiments, the first words spoken in a successful attempt of communication from another room was “Mr Watson, come here, I need you.” But an interesting and disputed fact is that Alexander might not have been the first to claim ownership for the idea of the telephone. On the same day in the same patent office, another inventor by the name Elisha Gray could have been the first to apply for the patent of the telephone.“Researchers suggest that Elisha Gray, a professor at Oberlin College, applied for a caveat of the telephone on the same day Bell applied for his patent of the telephone—these gentlemen didn’t visit the Patent Office, their lawyers did on their behalf. In Historical First Patents: The First United States Patent for Many Everyday Things (Scarecrow Press, 1994), Travis Brown, reports that Bell’s lawyer got to the patent office first. The date was February 14, 1876.”

The telegraph is where the morse code was invented to interpret this form of communication. The way that it worked was that a machine sent electrical signals through wires that were interpreted as dots and dashes. A letter would be assigned these and that's how messages could be sent from a large distance in a matter of seconds. This form of communication was commonly used by railroads to better organize how trains ran and their arrival times. But it was also used by the government and military for orders and intelligence. Eventually, the ability to send electrical signals through lines would help renovate rotary and switchboard operators to where they could call assigned lines in a neighbourhood or city. The telegraph was the outline for new forms of models that enhanced communication in the future.
So now we skip over to 2006, where a man by the name of Steve Jobs had created and released
a device called the iPhone. Which was the first of its kind to have full access to the internet. But although it wasn't the first smartphone it improved dramatically. With extended calling times and a battery life that lasted six hours while its predecessors lasted one hour. And this phone would be the foundation for phones that improve with every release. And had ways to improve the internet until eventually, you could find out any kind of information instantaneously; where before in the ’90s a page took 10 minutes to load. Now people can have improved communication and knowledge at their fingertips. And these features improve over the years to where we can have food delivered to our doors with a couple of clicks on your screen and buying and selling products is easier as platforms are made to advertise these kinds of things.
The technological advancements of communications of the United States were just a period of innovation by brilliant people to improve the functions of these devices to make life easier. The content stored in the future will only bring more improvements to the points that we cannot describe now. But with the help of brilliant people like Alexander Graham or Steve Jobs, the future is right around the corner.

Answer 4

We chose our own prompt but it had to be about U.S history

Answer 5

I just chose the advancement of the telephone in the U.S

Answer 6

i like how you put your mind into because most people don't. I also like the fact that you stated the real and not the fake because if you would have stated the fake it wouldn't be as good as your writing is now. I think it's a good writing and that you have very good taste in writings. I think you should keep up the good work and try a little bit harder.

Answer 7

neighborhood is misspelled in the 3rd paragraph"neighbourhood" try using a better word than interesting like intriguing "But an interesting and disputed fact is that Alexander might not have been the first to claim ownership for the idea of the telephone"
you used the phrase "by the name of" really frequently I think it would be to your benefit to use different phrases such as "known as" or and "his name is" you had very good use of transitions and did a great job being concise in this essay. Overall you should expect a good grade

Answer 8

Alright thank you guys i'll make these changes

Answer 9

your welcome! anytime

Answer 10

all around pretty great essay, other then the errors stated above. my only real qualm with it is the spacing. I can't tell where the introductory ends and the body paragraph starts, or when the body paragraph ends, and the conclusion starts

Answer 11

i think thats it really

Answer 12

thats how it pasted lol

Answer 13

lemme show you

Answer 14

i can easily tell where the paragraphs start and end in that one bc they have a space in between them

Answer 15

ats all im really saying, my teacher took off pointss if it wasn't done like that

Answer 16

shouldnt they be indented 0-o

Answer 17

yes that too

Answer 18

but also with gaps. like if i gt that essay would i be able to show a stickman parkouring between the gaps? thats how i think about it

Answer 19

and use the indent as his grappling hook platform to get higher

Answer 20

lmaooo

Answer 21

It's pretty good, one thing to fix tho.

In this sentence: Through his experiments, the first words spoken in a successful attempt of communication from another room was “Mr Watson, come here, I need you.”
^^
Mr Watson should have a . after Mr. After that you should be good.

💕🖤Astrid🖤💕

Answer 22

If you ever are unsure of spelling, use of words, or grammar you can copy and paste your text into Grammarly, A google document (then go to tools, spelling/grammar, and click "fix") or if you want to change words into something "less common" use a word changer (I recommend https://quillbot.com/ ) Hope this helps!!