When I first walked into the classroom, I saw a bunch of kids sitting on the floor and some sitting by their desk while I was still holding my mom and dad's hand then my teacher, Mrs. Towers came over and said "Hello! I'm Mrs. Towers, I'll be Lidia's Kindergarten teacher." she smiled. I was so terrified of how she was so sarcastic I hid behind my parents. The teacher started to blink and she just kept on smiling. "I'm Charles, it's nice to meet you." said my dad while shaking Mrs. Towers' hand. While they were talking my mom leaned down and said. " I don't think you would like to listen to all this grownup stuff. Why won't you go play with the other kids?" she whispered."Do I have to?"I whispered back."Well, you don't have to, but I'm sure you do want friends." she smiled. Mom was right I did want friends but I was way too shy to ask the other kids if they wanted to play, so I just went over and sat at my desk while I sat I guess I felt pretty lonely. I was getting so bored that I started tasting my own breath I was thinking: "Did I brush my teeth today? No... Doesn't seem so..." When I first started school I was a little shy I was afraid of what would the kids think of me because I was a really big girl, for some reason all the "cool" people had lunchboxes and I didn't have my own, so I guess I considered myself "uncool" I guess I had anxiety or something so the way I tried to fit in is to "smoke" crayons that were also "in" it all started with Michael Standfield and a broken white crayon, and since he was the cool kid everybody did it too. But the way I fixed it is just to have a good sense of humor and you'll make a bunch of friends, and by the way, I got my own lunchbox now!

Question

When I first walked into the classroom, I saw a bunch of kids sitting on the floor and some sitting by their desk while I was still holding my mom and dad's hand then my teacher, Mrs. Towers came over and said "Hello! I'm Mrs. Towers, I'll be Lidia's Kindergarten teacher." she smiled. I was so terrified of how she was so sarcastic I hid behind my parents. The teacher started to blink and she just kept on smiling. "I'm Charles, it's nice to meet you." said my dad while shaking Mrs. Towers' hand. While they were talking my mom leaned down and said. " I don't think you would like to listen to all this grownup stuff. Why won't you go play with the other kids?" she whispered."Do I have to?"I whispered back."Well, you don't have to, but I'm sure you do want friends." she smiled. Mom was right I did want friends but I was way too shy to ask the other kids if they wanted to play, so I just went over and sat at my desk while I sat I guess I felt pretty lonely. I was getting so bored that I started tasting my own breath I was thinking: "Did I brush my teeth today? No... Doesn't seem so..."  When I first started school I was a little shy I was afraid of what would the kids think of me because I was a really big girl, for some reason all the "cool" people had lunchboxes and I didn't have my own, so I guess I considered myself "uncool" I guess I had anxiety or something so the way I tried to fit in is to "smoke" crayons that were also "in"  it all started with Michael Standfield and a broken white crayon, and since he was the cool kid everybody did it too. But the way I fixed it is just to have a good sense of humor and you'll make a bunch of friends, and by the way, I got my own lunchbox now!

505 · Answer

How can I fix this..?

XxXNessalulbaddieXxX · Answer

me personally dont see anything wrong with it , i can see ur ideas and things come together and create this amazing story good job o:

Astro · Answer

"I'm Charles, it's nice to meet you." said my dad ....Change that to "my dad said" instead of said my dad. It just sounds better

505 · Answer

Well my teacher said I plagiarized when I really didn't.

Astro · Answer

What did she say you plagiarized? The whole thing?

505 · Answer

I think maybe just the story

Astro · Answer

Well did you?

XxXNessalulbaddieXxX · Answer

teachers can be a pin sometimes

XxXNessalulbaddieXxX · Answer

pain*

505 · Answer

No that was a whole thing in my head

Astro · Answer

Well, I think it's pretty good for a starting peace

505 · Answer

But I got to redo it

505 · Answer

And I don't want too

Astro · Answer

Well just remember take your time. You did great on this one and i'm sure you can do it again

XxXNessalulbaddieXxX · Answer

rephrase somethings if u need to

505 · Answer

I'm too lazy that the whole thing took an hour to put together

Astro · Answer

Do you have a due date?

505 · Answer

yes

Astro · Answer

When?

505 · Answer

Today.

Astro · Answer

You still have time , Just brainstorm some ideas and the sentences should just flow right to your head.

505 · Answer

I guess I'm going to have to move back to 2nd grade -_-