The jewel
This is an edited version of an old quick write i had to do for school.

Question

AddyM · Answer

There it was. The jewel I had worked my entire life for right in front of me. As I got closer to the giant jewel it started to grow extremely bright, and as I moved closer and reached out my hand to touch it just to make sure it was there the jewel turned into a semi-liquid state and started to quickly engulf my hand. I tried to pull away but each time I did it constricted and started climbing up my hand even quicker. I reached for my radio to call for help and I just grabbed at air, my radio must have fallen off on the dive down. It had almost engulfed my entire leg when I got the idea to grab my knife, I started frantically slashing at it, but it kept crawling up my arm and leg finally getting enough off I frantically swam back up to the boat. I managed to get back to the surface and I frantically clambered back onto the boat, and everyone excitedly asked me if the jewel was there, if they were right. I hesitate before saying I don’t know what was down there, but it was not the jewel, everyone looks bewildered, and they decide to scrap the entire expedition and forget about looking for the jewel because no one wanted to encounter what I encountered. As the boat drives away, I look back and only see the calm ocean.

AddyM · Answer

I added more details and fixed the grammar and such

AddyM · Answer

thoughts

Astro · Answer

This is very well thought out, and well written. There are a few punctuation errors. but that is it. Great job.

Timmyspu · Answer

I agree with Astro. This is very well thought out and well written. If you keep on track then you might be a really good writer.

AddyM · Answer

Thanks! I do need to work on my punctuation lol

karissafrazier · Answer

i agree- amazing work

Astrid1 · Answer

Very well written! Love it!

AddyM · Answer

@landongoma
 A very old short story i wrote

LandonGoma · Answer

I like the fact that You made the story get bigger and into your own hands. I also like that the story is not a love story but is a peaceful story because when I was reading it, I had calmed down because my chest was hurting but your story had stopped it from hurting and I like that so Great job..