Question

I walk outside and see all the kids gathered outside and there was a lady crying I walked up to one of the kids and asked what happened the look on his face is something I will never forget the look drained depressed like his whole life just ended. I asked if he was ok he said in a quiet tone " M-My brother he- he's gone" I was so confused as to what he was saying gone what could he mean " what do you mean gone did he run away" the little kid looked sad and started crying and he looked at me again and I already knew what had happened. the lady that was crying took us back to our rooms and told us that Kayden had committed suicide I was shocked I almost fainted Kayden was one of the most positive people here he was always telling us to smile more than it was going to be ok. I wanted answers to why would he do that " no I don't believe that he would neve-" I stopped cleanly in my tracks i would always here crying coming from his room and.....

Answer 1

This is pretty good.

Answer 2

oooo~~~


So like, I like it, but I feel that at the start of it, you use the word "kids," too often. So maybe a heads up on changing the word a bit 🤔